Life is not easy
by Carorooz
Summary: Merder AU! Meredith (19) is raising her son on her own after a tragic accident. On a night out she meets second year resident Derek. Will Meredith's life have a happy ending after all? I know it has been done over a 100 times a storyline like this I just couldn't get it out of my head!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one: The accident

Meredith woke up from the sound of the baby monitor. Liam her 6 month old was crying. Liam not now, mommy is trying to sleep she thought. But Liam didn't listen and before Meredith got out of bed he was screaming his head off. She dragged herself to the kitchen and made a bottle for him and placed it in the warmer. Than she entered his room and picked him out of his crib. Liam calmed down immediately in his mothers arms. The six month old was happy to wait for his bottle safely in his mother's arms. She looked at him and she was amazed how much he looked like his father. She walked back in to the kitchen to pick up the bottle and sat down on the couch. Liam was gently sucking on the bottle and was looking up at her. Her mind wondered back to what happened in the summer last year. Finding out she was pregnant right after graduation, telling her mom that she was pregnant. Her mom had taken the news quit well. She was already paying for college but offers to pay for housing outside the dorm room as well as long as Meredith kept up her grades and got a side job. Cause having a baby in a dorm room was not an option. Moving to New York for pre med at NYU. And the accident right before the end of summer.

_Meredith and Finn where on their way home from apartment hunting in New York. They spent the whole week looking for apartments and with success they found a nice little apartment close to NYU where they both were going to college. Meredith as pre med with the dream to one day become a surgeon. And Finn to veterinarian school. He always loved the animals and when Meredith told him she wanted to be a doctor. He told her that he wanted to be a veterinarian. So they started looking at colleges where they could go together. They could stay in Boston but Meredith wanted to get away from here mother and life on her own. Finn on the other hand who had a good relationship with his parents wanted to stay in Boston or at least close to it and not on the other side of the country. The drive to New York to Boston takes 3 to 4 hours so that wasn't that bad. Meredith was scared tough how would she manage a baby and going to college. They talked about it a lot and Finn promised they are going to make it work no matter what! They were in it together. They were almost home and Meredith was exhausted and than it happened. The truck came out of nowhere and hit them on the drives side and they where pushed off the road. Meredith hit her head against the window and was knocked out for a moment when she gained concisions again she looked to her side to see Finn a banged up with a big head wound. She called out his name but he didn't respond at all. Out of instinct she felt for a pulse but she couldn't find any and she knew it was very bad. She searched for her phone in her pocket and dialled 911. She was crying and waited for the ambulance to come. When the fireman had pulled her on the backboard and the c collar was on the paramedic asked how far along she was. Till that point Meredith didn't even think about the little life growing inside of her. She chocked out 3 months and her hands reached for her stomach. Hoping that the baby would be all right. In the emergency room she was check out by the doctors and they called OB for an ultra sound to see if the baby was oke. She felt so relieved when the tumps of the heartbeat filled the room. The OB told her that de baby was fine and she was very lucky. She just had a concussion. Finn on the other hand was not so lucky. After they pulled him out of the cart hey tried to resuscitate him but it didn't matter he was pronounced dead in the emergency room._

I was pulled back out of my trans when Liam made a noise, deciding he was finished after I burped him. I went to his room and got him ready for his day at day care. Clanging at the clock on the wall I noticed that I was already running late but I couldn't be bothered today. It was Friday and I had a full day of classes ahead of me and right after that I would take the train back to Boston for the first time after my move to New York. Cause tomorrow marked the day that it was one year ago that I lost him. I texted Izzie if she could save me a seat because I was running late. I was out of the door 15 min to late. Liam all packed up in his stroller I walked to the subway. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining.

I dropped Liam at the day care close to the NYU campus. It wasn't easy to find a day care close to campus that she I could afford but after she made a deal with her mother that she would pay half of it she got him in the day care she wanted. My mom understood that I wanted him close so I didn't have to travel all the way across the city to find a good affordable day care.

Her relationship with her mother had improved so much since the birth of Liam. She had surprised her who she managed to keep her grades up have a side job and a new born. Her mother loved Liam very much. Which was a bit wired for Meredith because she was not the best mother when she grew up but Liam had softened her. And she came to visit every month.

After a quick goodbye to Liam I sprinted to campus and found my seat next to Izzie. The class had already started and Izzie whispered it is the first week of our second year and you are already late. I bit back I know. I was annoyed already this wasn't going to be a good day. Izzie looked hurt by my reaction but she let is slide for now I knew she would bring it up later but I focused on my biology professor. It was a long and hard lecture but it was very interesting. When lunch came around I sat down in the cafeteria with Izzie and later George joint us. Izzie asked me how I was doing. I'm fine I told her but she wouldn't believe me. Knowing me longer than today so she just pressed a little harder and I snapped at her it is one year tomorrow. That was al she needed to hear and left the issue alone.

George, who I haven't seen since before summer break asked me how my break went. I told him that I worked my butt off to save up money so I wouldn't have to work that much during the year and can focus on school and Liam. I worked as an orderlie at NYU medical centre. Sounds like a busy break George said. I knew George had a crush on me. Izzie told me. But I had no interest in dating him at all. He was like my little brother and to be fair I didn't have time to date between college, Liam and work. Izzie and George both went back home for the summer to Seattle.

After lunch we were all in the same chemlab. After chemlab I pick up Liam from day care and had home to pack my bags for the weekend. It is amazing who much stuff a little baby needs. And I needed to take his travel cot as well I used it sometimes when I would have a sleep over with Izzie but we didn't go away on weekend trips this was the first time traveling with Liam. I put the travel cot on the bottom of the stroller with all his sleeping stuff and I hang the nappy bag on the handlebars. Liam was lying in his playpen on his tummy and was looking at me. I could see in his eyes that he was thinking "why is mommy running around like a crazy person''. I stop for a moment and walk towards him. He is giving me a big smile as I pick him up. He has always been a happy baby! I decided to leave him on the bed while I pack my own bag for the weekend. I was standing in front of my closet. What the hell am I going to wear tomorrow! Probably something black but not to depressing and definitely not a dress. I hadn't worn a dress since Liam's birth and this weekend was not the weekend to start that. So I pulled out my black jeans and my black blazer. Finn always thought I looked hot in that one. Sometimes I can still her him say "Hi sexy" when I put in on. I also grab a white t-shirt full on knowing that it won't last an hour with Liam around but maybe he will behave tomorrow for once! I also grab some spare clothes. After everything is packed I walk to Penn station to catch the train to Boston. As I am waiting for the train I am calling my mother. And to my surprise she picks up. Meredith make it sort I am in surgery. I tell her I am on my way and the I should be home in about 4 hours. She promises me that she will be home on time and that we will order some diner. And that she is very excited to see her grandson!

It is not so busy in the train so I place Liam in the seat next to me in his maxicosi. It is such a hassle traveling with a baby. I had to put the rest of the stroller as baggage. Looking at the time I hoped that Liam would fall asleep after his bottle in a while. But for now there was no sign of tiredness in his eyes as he look around in his new surroundings. After the train left the station I pick him up and place him on my lap and get out his favourite book with all the animals. I am making all the funny animal sounds and Liam starts to giggle. He may look like his daddy but that giggle is all me! After I read the book 3 times Liam is loosing interest and is looking out of the window. I pull him close thinking of how hard this weekend is going to be and I fight back the tears, I have to be strong for the little guy that is in my arms! I notice Liam is getting restless in my arms and I know he might be getting hungry so I give him a little snack because it is to early for his bottle. He is munching happily on his cookie I gave him the hard one so I know he is occupied for a little while. And put him in his maxicosi while I take out my biology book and start doing some homework because I know there won't be much time to do it on the weekend with all the things going on. I hope to finish it tonight before I go to bed and maybe in the morning if my mother can watch Liam for a little while. After his cookie I toss him some toys and he plays happily with them. When we have 1 hour and a half to go I get his bottle out of the bag. Normally I give him a little bit of solids as well but as we are still trying and I know he is always making a mess a decide to make a bigger bottle and maybe feed him some solids when we have diner if he is up for it. The train ride has tired him out and I see his eyelid drooping as he almost finishes his bottle. I hold him for a while longer and replace the bottle with his dummy. When I know he is fast asleep I transfer him back in to the maxicosi and then go back to studying.

When we arrive in Boston I hale a cap not to be bothered to go on the bus with my sleeping baby. When we pull up at my childhood home I can see the lights on so that means my mother is actually home. I push open the front door and walk inside. It feels weird being home after a year. I place Liam still sound asleep on the living room floor and go search for my mother. I find her in the kitchen looking at the take out menu. I say hello and she looks at me. She walks to me and give me a big hug and that is when I let my tears go. After the tears I walk back to the living room pick up the maxicosi and take it with me into kitchen where I place him on the kitchen counter. My mom looks at him and says that he is getting big! While she orders the pizza I put Liam to bed in my old room. He doesn't even stir when I change him in to his jammys. And I know he won't be waking up before the morning. Place him in his cot tuck him in and whisper Night, night and I love you to him. Grab the baby monitor and go back downstairs. I talk with my mom about the last month. Working all summer to earn as much money as possible and still having time for Liam it is not easy but I am hanging in there. And she tells me about all here awesome surgeries. I ask my mother if she can watch Liam in the morning after breakfast so I can do some homework. She is happy to do it! After I check on Liam for one last time I go to bed.


	2. One year

**AN: Hi, Thank you all for following and reading my story. This is my first story ever, if you have any tips on my writing feel free to put them in the reviews, I am here to learn. Also English is not my native language. **

**I decided to update this story once a week on Sunday. So I have enough time during the week to write a long chapter. So here is chapter 2! Let me know what you guys think!**

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Chapter 2: one year

It is six in the morning and Liam is starting to stir I quickly pick him up and I hope he will settle down again. That is what we normally do in the mornings on the weekend when he wakes up early. I pick him up with sleeping bag and all and place him above the covers and slide back under the covers and cuddle him. It works for an hour but then my cuddle time is over and he is starting to get hungry. We walk in to the kitchen I grab his nappy bag with formula and place him in the highchair that my mom bought. It is the weekend so we are definitely trying some solids. When I have to go to school in the morning I just feed him his bottle because I know that they will give him solids at day care anyway. I asked my mom to pick up some baby food so I open up the cabinets and see there is storage for 3 months in there. I laugh at the sight of it and I will definitely take some home so it won't go to waste. I get a little spoon and a chair and sit in front of Liam.

I see that my mother placed a new bib on the table with the text: "My grandma loves me." He looks very cute in it so a snap a picture of him. The first few spoons go into his mouth but the he starts his mess. I manage to get most of it is his mouth but there is some on the floor and on my t-shirt. There is also some on his tray and before I can stop him he splashes his hand into the food and I know I need to give him a bath. But first a bottle. I let him play with his food for a little while and heat up his bottle. Getting him out his high chair placing him in my arms and giving him his bottle.

My mother comes downstairs she offers to take over so I can have a shower and start my homework, when I tell her Liam needs a bath she doesn't back down and says she would give him one too. I look surprised, she notices it and says don't look at me like that I know how to give a baby a bath. I gave you baths when you were younger as from the mess on the floor I can see he got his mothers eating habits. My jaw hits the floor. She asks my what time I have to be at the Dandridge house. I promised Finn's mom Kathrin that I would be there at 2pm so they can have sometime with Liam before we go to the cemetery. My mother nods and sends me upstairs to have a shower so she can give Liam his bath afterwards. I walk upstairs and hop into the shower. While in the shower my mind drifts back to all the good memories I have off Finn in this house. Like when he picked me up for prom.

_It was finally prom night and I was so excited to go I would never have thought that I Meredith Grey would go to prom! Till last year is was the angry girl with the pink hair went to lots of parties and came home drunk more times I could count but than in the new school year Finn had showed up he moved here from Chicago. He was placed next to me in class and he had started talking to me. First I wanted nothing to do with him but he was very persistent so first we became friends but it wasn't long before I started having feelings for him. And that is when I changed. My hair wasn't pink anymore. I wasn't angry al the time and I stopped going to all the parties. Finn changed me! And I think even before the first term was over he asked me to be his girlfriend! I was happy. Kept my grades up what made my mother very happy. And now I was looking in the mirror putting on my prom dress. I even put on some make up. Hoping that Finn would like it. My mom was in surgery all night so knew she wouldn't be home anytime soon. After I put 3 different kinds of earrings in my ears I decided that I would go for the long silver once. Finn had gotten me them for my birthday in May. I hear the doorbell ring and yell from the top of the stairs that the door is open because in know it is Finn who is at the other side of the door. I hear the door open and I run back into my room to put my shoes on. I yell to him that I will be down in a second. When I was ready I descended down the stairs I could see Finn staring at me and his jaw dropped down. When I reach him at the bottom he tells me that I look absolutely beautiful. And he pulls me in for a searing and passionate kiss. Every time he kisses me time seems to stop. After we both pull away to catch a breath I tell him he looks very handsome than he reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a beautiful corsage that he puts on my wrist. He kisses me again and tells me he loves me! Then before things go to far he tells me we need to leave or we will be late for prom. We walk outside and there is a limo parked right in front of my house and I look amazed at it. Is this how we are going to get to prom I ask dumbfound. Yes my darling he answers and we step into the limo of to prom._

I smile at the memory and than while I am still in the shower I start crying. I miss him so much! After I get me self-together. I find my comfy sweatpants and one of his sweaters. Get my laptop and I head down stairs to finish my English litt paper. I can hear Liam's giggles in the living room I walk into the room and tell my mom I am ready. Liam looks up at me when he recognises my voice and give me a smile. I cannot resist that smile and walk over to give him a kiss on his head and tell him to have fun with grandma. I tell my mother where all his stuff is and then I head into the kitchen and grab some left over pizza from the night before place my laptop on the counter and start writing. Half way trough I hear my mother and Liam coming into the kitchen he is all dressed and in one piece! My mother is telling me she is going on a walk with him and she is asking me how the stroller is working as this one is different from the one I use normally in New york as I had to have Liam safe on the train. I quickly explain her how to use the stroller. And I quickly grab Liam some snacks because he gets very grumpy when he gets hungry and his water bottle. And then they are out of the door. Sometimes I still cannot believe that my mother is actually interacting with my son. Just from the fact that I grew up alone in the care of nanny's while she was living in the hospital being a surgeon. I felt neglected by her a lot. I am happy that she is there for Liam and that she supports my financially otherwise I wouldn't be in pre med right now! I finish my English litt paper and start my chemistry homework.

When I am just about finished I hear the front door open. And I decide I am done for the day! Liam looks exhausted from playing with grandma today but I need to feed him his lunch before he goes down for his nap. I decide to give him some vanilla yoghurt and a banana. He is too tired to make a mess at the moment and he just lets me feed him. After I put him down for his nap I walk into my mothers den en look for a surgical tape to look for something interesting. I look at all the names on the tapes and then my eye falls on the whipple. I walk back to the living room and put the tape in. As I am looking fascinated at the pancreas on the screen I don't hear my mother come in. she sits down next to me and she start talking to me. "I see you still have the obsession to watch my surgical tapes." She says. I mumble a yes to her not wanting to take my eyes of the screen. You should take some home with you and then I will take some new one's with me when I come visit you next month. I smile at her and thank her. After the tape is done I look at the clock and see it is time to get Liam and myself ready to visit his other grandparents. I change him into his my daddy is a hero t-shirt.

The Dandridge house is just two block over so I decide to walk there. I walk past the florist on the way and buy two roses one for Liam and one for me. As I walk in to his street I start to feel nervous I haven't seen them much since the accident. Of course they where there when Liam was born and we call a lot but they don't visit a lot. I might be hard for them. But I am sad for Liam because this is the only connection he has to his daddy. And I want him to know them. I just don't have the time to visit with my schedule.

As I walk up to the porch the door is already opening and I see Kathrin walking to me giving me a big hug. Followed by Matt. Matt helps me getting the stroller on the porch and we go inside. Liam is a bit hesitant with the two new people he hasn't seen that much I try placing him in Kathrin's lap but doesn't want it and is reaching out for me. It breaks my hart and it takes a lot of strength to not pick him up and comfort him. Instead I decide to sit next to Kathrin and hold his hand. He calms down a little and looks up at me with curious eyes. I tell him it is oke and that this is his grandma Kathrin. Out of the corner of my eyes I can she Kathrin crying. I look to Matt he also has tears in his eyes. He chokes out he looks so much like him.

As I look around the room I can see photos of Finn. Photos of me and Finn and then my eyes are falling on the row of photos from Liam. I had sent them photo's every month but I didn't know what they did with them. The first photo was a photo of Liam and me in the hospital when I gave birth. I was looking down at him with a big smile! I stand up wanting to look closer at the picture suspecting Liam is going to scream but he didn't. I give Kathrin some toys to play with him and I walk over to the pictures. I stop at the one of Finn and me from two weeks before the accident. I just started to show and we where sitting on the porch. He was sitting behind me and hugging my belly with his hands I was smiling brightly as he kissed my neck. As I turn around I smile at the sight before me. Matt and Kathrin are sitting on the floor with Liam laying on his back smiling at both of his grandparents and kicking his legs in delight.

I walk into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea and let them have their time together. As I put the kettle on I zone out. I don't hear Matt come in and he startles me. Matt asks me how I am doing. I am hanging in there I answer. It is not easy to raise a baby on my own going to pre med and having a side job and tell him I am exhausted. Matt smiles at me and says: "We will be there to help you next month." He had been looking at jobs in New York since Liam was born and last month he heard that he got a job and they will be moving next month. Liam is the only thing we have left of Finn and we want to be part of his live not just over the phone or when we both have time to come visit you. We want to be there for him and help you out a little bit. All I can do is walking to him and giving him a big hug while crying. Telling him that it means the world to me! Liam is going to have all his grandparents in his live and I am so great full for that.

Two hours later we piled everybody in the car I secured the maxicosi in the seatbelt and we made the drive to the cemetery. When we reach his grave I place the to roses on the ground and I reach for the nappy bag for the picture of Liam I took last week with is my daddy loves me t-shirt and place it in front of the headstone. I step back grabbing Liam out of the stroller needing him close and I start talking to Finn introducing him to Liam and saying that I miss him very much apologising of not visiting and than I ramble about my life in New york. Afterwards I start crying. Matt and Kathrin are talking to Finn now and my mind wanders back to his burial last year.

_It was a week after the accident, I had been crying in my bed the whole week not wanting to eat and drink but my mother had forced me every time. Threating me that if I didn't eat and drink she would take me to the hospital. And that was the last place I wanted to be. Now it was a Friday morning my alarm clock was going off and I knew I had to get myself dressed into the black dress. After a light breakfast my mom drove my to the church where his service was being held. I saw a lot of my classmates not everybody had gone away to college yet. I was leaving on Monday. They all give me sympathetic_ _looks and I try to hold myself together but when I look up down the aisle and see his picture and a casket I start crying again. I can feel some strong arms around me and I turn around to sob in Matt's shirt. I hadn't seen them since the hospital. He leads me to one of the chairs in front of the church and sits me down. The service starts and there are a lot of speeches. Finn had touched so many hearts in his short time that he had been in Boston. It started with the principal and then a lot of his friends wanted to speak and afterwards it was my turn. I had written a speech on a piece of paper but I couldn't read it anymore my tears were too watery so I just said that I loved him and that is was going to miss him. I thought about the baby and I just asked him how I was going to do this without him. After the service we drove behind Finn to the cemetery. His friends were carrying from the car to his burial place. Everybody was carrying a rose to throw on his casket before it was send into the ground. And all I could do was cry. _

I was pulled back to earth when Liam started to wriggle in my arms I looked at my watch and saw that is was time to eat. So I told Matt and Kathrin and we went to Finn's favourite restaurant. We had a good dinner and a good talk after some food and his bottle Liam fell asleep. When they drop me at my mother's house and I promise to come visit as soon as they move to New York! I walk inside the dark house of course my mom was not home but there was a note on the kitchen counter: "I have been pulled into an emergency surgery, see you tomorrow morning."

I head upstairs and go into my room after putting Liam down I lay on my bed staring to the sealing I am exhausted from the day. I turn to my left and look at picture on my nightstand and the only thing I can say is one year before my eyes fall shut.


	3. Grandparents in town

**AN: Sorry guys for not uploading last week it has been a busy week and weekend! So here you go!**

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Chapter 3 Grandparents in town

Today was the day Matt and Kathrin were moving to New York. The moving truck was coming on Friday and would arrive at their new house in Brooklyn on Saturday and I was very excited they were coming. It meant that Liam could build a good relationship with his grandparents and I had some more hands to help me! We talked about it over the phone and they were happy to watch Liam some nights so I could enjoy myself in the city and if I needed to do home work they could watch him as well. Don't get me wrong I was doing quit well without the help managing to stay on track at school I had a good system in place but it was very tiring and I didn't have much time for myself.

I had asked my mom she could come the week before so I could help Matt and Kathrin this weekend. And she agreed to come a week earlier and I told her to grab some baby food from the cabinets in her kitchen before they were out of date! She also remembered to bring me some surgical tapes so that is how I spent my free Friday night while Liam was asleep in his room. I sat on the couch with a carton of Ben and Jerry ice cream and watched my mother's old surgical tapes. I know it is very sad that a 19 year old is spending her Friday nights like that but hey it was my life and I loved it.

It had been a rough week tough. Liam was not feeling that well on Monday I took him to day care anyway but I was called away during my second lecture of the day that he had vomited and had a fever because of that I missed classes on Tuesday and Wednesday because I was taking care of my sick son who was not having it at all. All he wanted was to sleep in my arms and as soon as I put him down in his crib he would wake up and scream. Izzie was a big help and came over after class so I could copy all her notes! Liam was feeling better on Thursday not quit himself yet but no fever and no vomiting so I took him to day care. And dragged myself to NYU I was sure that whatever Liam had was now in my body. And boy I can understand why he was crying. Good thing for me was I only had one lecture. Izzie looked at me and she said don't come near me you look horrible. Well I feel horrible I replied I think I have the same bug Liam had over the last 2 days. So I went home after class without picking up Liam at day care and went to bed after setting an alarm to pick him up on time! I woke up a little better from my nap and hoped that Liam would be tired from a full day at day care and would fall asleep right after dinner. And I was right because after feeding him his last bottle I saw his eyes fall shut, as he was finishing. I was feeling better on Friday so I was hopeful that I could help Matt and Kathrin on Saturday.

After our weekend morning routine I practically skipped to the subway I was sure everybody was looking at me but I didn't care. I stopped at my favourite coffee shop on the way to the subway and ordered my vanilla latte with extra sugar and I grabbed a muffin. I called Izzie and asked her if she wanted to have a study day at my place tomorrow I needed to help her with her biology anyway I called George as well to see if he wanted to come. Than the train came to my stop and got of the subway. Walking around the neighbourhood it look like all the houses where very expensive and I felt a little out of place pushing Liam around in his stroller. When I came to the building I rang the doorbell and I was greeted by Matts voice he was telling me I needed to come to the highest level. I get into the elevator and push the right button. When I get out of the elevator. Kathrin is standing in the doorway with a big smile on her face. "I am so happy you are here to help us move in". She says while giving me a hug. She waves at Liam and he is smiling back at her. As I walk into the apartment I can the amazing view trough the windows I can see all over Manhattan. I dream about having a home like this one-day.

Matt gives me a quick tour. The last room he shows me is a little bit smaller than all the other rooms. As a look at the door I see Liam's name spelled out on it. He is going to have his own little room. We were thinking of painting in blue but we wanted your opinion first to see if you think it is a good idea. Matt said. I just looked and smiled at him it was an amazing idea. So I wouldn't have to drag all his stuff around! I looked in the hallway and saw a crib, changing table and a high chair. I couldn't ask the question but Kathrin saw it in my eyes. Yes this was his she said. Finn had wanted to move it to New York with us when we left for college but after the accident I didn't want to be reminded of it and when it was time to get the baby room ready I just bought everything new. But now it was here anyway and Liam was going to use it. After the tour we sit down for lunch and afterwards Matt is starting to paint in Liam's room while I help Kathrin unpack boxes in the kitchen and the living room. Liam is laying on his playmatt playing but I can see he is getting tired and it is not long before I can hear his little snores and place him in his stroller.

While unpacking we have some chitter chatter about a lot of stuff. I always had a good connection with Kathrin and she was like a second mom to me. I remembered the time Finn and I had our first fight it was about something stupid. It was so stupid I don't even remember what we fought about. But what I did remember is that is showed up at his house crying knowing the Finn was not home and Kathrin comforted me like I was here own daughter. She knew that my mother was a workaholic and that I was in the care of nanny's till my mother decided that I was old enough to fend for myself. What she didn't know was my wild party life before I met her son and I wasn't planning on telling her anytime soon. From the time I became Finn's girlfriend I sat at their diner table at least twice a week. And if we didn't want to get disturbed we went to my house when I would know my mom was in surgery and wasn't coming home anytime soon!

Matt came out off Liam's room as the first layer of paint needed to dry. And we all needed a break. We sat at the table and we discussed the time they would spend with Liam. I didn't want to disturb his little routine that much and I wanted a stable one. I turns out the Kathrin has one day trough the week of on Tuesday while Matt works full time. And she would love to take care of Liam for the day. I figured I could cut back one day of day care. It would safe me some money. I would drop him before class start and pick him up right after his dinner. So I could do his evening routine. This will give me some time to focus on my study and then every other week they would watch him on Saturday overnight. So I could do something fun! And I would pick him up around 12 on Sunday. This was all going to start in 2 next weeks. Just to give them time to get settled in. I looked around the room and told them I would bring over some of Liam's toys but Kathrin said don't bother we will go to toy are us when he wakes up and get him some new ones.

It looks like it is Liam's birthday when we are going trough toys are us I push Liam in his stroller and Kathrin is pushing the shopping card. She is going a little overboard but I also know she had missed her grandson and wanted to spoil him, I think back to the toys I have at home. And I think there is twice the amount of toys in the card then I have in my living room and we were not even half way done. I was starting to feel a little bit embarrassed that Kathrin was buying all the toys. Liam was very happy with the little toys at home he had. But Kathrin wouldn't budge and wanted the big expensive toys for him because he deserved the best.

After toys are us Kathrin drags me to the bookstore ordering me to get the books Liam likes to read. They don't have Liam's particular one but I grab some books with animals just for babies but than my eyes fall on Peter Rabbit. I used to love the book when I was younger. I always asked the nanny to read it before bedtime. Maybe I can start reading it to Liam before he goes to bed. As I give the other books to Kathrin I hold on to Peter Rabbit.

Matt laughs when we return to the apartment and jokes that Kathrin had bought the whole toys are us. Well she almost did I replied sarcastic. After putting the toys away I walk over to Liam's room the second layer of paint is on and the crib and changing table are on its place. I place some stuffed animals in his crib and put his new books on the changing table.

Matt asks me to stay for dinner as it was getting late but I didn't have any food for Liam so I decide to go back home. After whipping up a quick diner I put on the television and I have some cuddle time with Liam before he is starting to doze off. There wasn't anything really interesting on television. And it wasn't long that my mind had wondered of to the day I moved to New York.

_It was the Monday after Finn's funeral and I was standing in my bedroom looking at the empty room. Over the weekend I had to pack up all my stuff in boxes. It had taking me ages just because of the fact the every time I found something that reminded me of Finn I would start to cry all over again. I was a mess I hope I could get myself together before classes started but for now I was still a basket case. It felt wired standing in this empty room where I had stayed since I was five after we moved from Seattle. I was going to start all over again in New York. I was looking forward to it finally away from my mother and living on my own. On the other hand I was scared to death because I knew it was not going to be easy with a baby on the way. We where supposed to do it together but now I was all alone!_

_I smiled at the memories of Finn and me lying on the bed and just talking. Or the one time we played a board game and I was kicking his ass over and over again. He didn't handle it very well and the board game ended up on the floor while he was giving me the tickle dead. I kicked and screamed but he wouldn't stop till I begged him for mercy!_

_As I carry the last box to the car I look back at the house that I called home. My mom had taken the day of to drive me to New York it kind of surprised me. I suspected that I had to hire a moving truck and drive myself to New York but she insisted to help me. When we arrived in New York and carried all the boxes inside. My new furniture that I had ordered online was delivered. And after asking the delivery man nicely to bring it up to my floor my mom helped me to put everything together. Well she tried to help. It was very funny to see that the famous Ellis Grey world-renowned surgeon couldn't put a simple bed together. And afterwards she had left me alone to unpack the boxes and went back to Boston because she had an early surgery the next morning._

_I unpacked the box with the photos of Finn and placed them on the little side table in the corner so he was sort of with me. Putting my hand over my belly whispering that everything was going to be all right to my baby._

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_Don't worry Derek will make an appearance soon! Just hang in there ;)_


	4. First night out

**AN: Sunday again so here you go! I am starting a new job tomorrow so we will see how my updates are going to be over the next few weeks!**

**reviews are very welcome!**

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Chapter 4 First night out

It had been 2 weeks since Kathrin and Matt had made the move to New York. They had settled in and today they where going to watch Liam over the weekend. It was Saturday morning and they where going to pick him up at 5pm so Izzie, George and I could spent the night out in the city.

I was a bit nervous it was the first time I wouldn't have Liam with me. I walked in to his room this morning and he was still passed out. I think I stood there for at least 15 min watching my little boy sleep. He looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb him. Trough the week we did some test runs with Liam how he would behave when I would leave him with Kathrin and Matt alone. The first time he screamed his head of when I walked away but when I reached the grocery store I got a text from Matt that he had settled down and was nicely playing with his toys. After some shopping and enjoying a nice cup of coffee without having to watch Liam for the first time since I gave birth. I felt like a normal teenager again since finding out I was pregnant with him. The next few times Liam didn't scream that much but was not particularly happy that I was leaving. And yesterday he didn't make a sound when I dropped him when I needed to go to the library for some research. To be honest I was missing him. I was so used to drag him along with everything I did.

After breakfast I decided to go for a walk. Taking the subway to central park. The sun was shining brightly and I just strolled around. Liam had his sunglasses on and was looking like a cool little dude. Placing a blanket on the grass on the hill I lay Liam down and watch the baseball game that is going on on the field below me. Liam was rolling over on to his belly and he was trying to push himself up and I knew it wouldn't be long before I would start to crawl and I would be in a lot of trouble chasing after him. We go back home for lunch and a nap. I do my homework while he is asleep and when he wakes up I just play with him till Matt and Kathrin are coming to pick him up. When they arrive I pack his nappy back and some clean clothes. When they start to leave I give him a big hug and tell him I would see him tomorrow. He looked a little bit confused glancing from me to Kathrin but he didn't cry.

As I quickly tidy up before Izzie is coming over to help me get ready. I put on the radio and start dancing to the music. And it is not long before I use the vacuum cleaner as an air guitar and pretend that I am a rock star. When I am done with my rock concert I hear the doorbell ring and let Izzie in. She is ordering me around to have a shower, wash my hair and shave. I look at her like she is crazy but she is giving me a stern look at tells me you never know what might happen so just do it! I start to giggle while I turn around and head for the shower. After my shower Izzie lets me try a million outfits. It looks like there was a bomb explosion in my room. And Izzie decides I should go for the sexy black dress. I am not sure if I even fit in to it because I hadn't worn it for more then over a year. But she wants me to try it anyway. As I slip in to the dress I am surprised how easy it goes. I definitely had lost the baby weight. Izzie is doing my make up and I am putting on my heels. Than I stand in front of my mirror and I almost didn't recognize myself. I was looking at a hot sexy woman who was ready to party. Not at a 19-year-old mom covered in babypuke. I am speechless. When George arrives he just stammers that I look amazing. I just hope his crush on me will stop very soon! It is getting quite annoying. We order pizza to have some food before we go out.

Izzie is dragging us along the city and we end up in a bar where she knows the bouncer so she could get us in. Out of experience I know who to get a drink while under age and I walk over to the bar and order a coke. I look around if I can spy someone interesting and who can buy me a drink. First time I look around there was nobody not even close but on my second try I found myself staring at a cute guy with blue eyes and dark hair. He doesn't look at me. He is talking to his friend. But as if he could feel my eyes on him he looks in my direction and I quickly turn away but it is to late he saw me staring at him. I feel my cheeks turn red and I really hope he is letting it go. I am so not ready for this I think.

But I am out of luck I can see him say something to his friend, his friend looks up and just grins at me. Then the cute guy is standing up and is walking my way. He sits down on the stool next to me and he orders a double scotch's single malt.

He turns to me with a cocky smile and he says: "So is this a good place to hangout?" I start to giggle and ask him if that line had ever worked for him. Yes normally it does he replies. I turn back to sip on my coke. He looks at me and says: "ah now you are ignoring me." I am trying to I reply. He scoots closer and says: "you shouldn't ignore me." Why not I reply. "Cause I am someone you need to get to know to love." I look at him and say " So if I know you I will love you?" yes he replies back with a grin. I can feel myself starting to smile. "You are very fond of yourself aren't you?" I say to the cute looking guy. "Just hiding me pain". He replies. And than he asks: "So what is your story?" For a moment I am not sure what to say and I think just have fun Meredith. So I answer: "I don't have a story I am just a girl in bar." And I am just a guy in a bar he replies. And it is followed by could a buy you a drink and I knew I hit the jackpot. I say sure. But instead of asking me what I am drinking he just ask the bartender for another round. As the bartender puts our drinks on the bar he says: "one double scots single malt and a coke." And I feel like I want to disappear. The guy looks at me and whispers in my ear: "you are not legal aren't you." I turn bright red and all I have to do is nod.

I expect him to back way but he doesn't he is just looking at me and after a while he asks me to pick a poison. I answer tequila and before I know it there is a shot of tequila in front of me. I pick it up and drink it one go. That felt so good I hadn't had a shot of tequila since before I was pregnant. And the tequila made me all warm and fuzzy inside. With no doubt in my mind that I would and up drunk of my ass tonight because I had become a lightweight. The guy ordered me a couple more and I already started to feel it.

I became a little bit chattier and asked him for his name. "Derek" he told me holding out his hand. Meredith I said while shaking is hand and when we touched there was a sparkle going down my spine. A sparkle that I never had felt before. He asked me how old I was and I replied 19. Than he asks me how I got into the bar and I mention and point to Izzie that she knew one of the bouncers. At this point I don't know how many shots of tequila I had but I was really starting to feel it and I think Derek had noticed it to because when I stood up to go to the toilet he grabbed me before I could fall over. Oke that's enough I am taking you home Derek says. And I don't even think and just agree.

We are waiting for a cab outside of the bar, I can almost not stand up straight, I would for sure not be standing right now if it wasn't for Derek. He had is arm around my shoulder and I was leaning against him. "Maybe I gave you to much of the tequila, you are going to be sorry in the morning." he says with a cheeky smile. "Don't worry I am just not used to it anymore, I am always sorry in the morning after drinking tequila." I reply with a sort of flirty smile.

While we get into the cab I mumble my address to the driver and just lean against Derek. His cologne smells nice very musky. When we get out of the cab I start to panic I don't want him to come up and find out I have a baby. So as we stand in front of my building I tell him I had a good time and just stare into his blue eyes. He leans in closer and his hand goes up to my face stroking my cheek, looking me in the eyes to ask for permission I give him a slight nod and then is lips are on mine. It is a soft kiss and I can feel his tongue across my lips and I open my mouth and I feel his tongue slipping inside. My hands go into his hair. And then I pull away panting. He tells me he wants to meet again and I give him my phone number. He is given me quick kiss before I go inside. And says "bye Meredith". I say back "bye Derek". His name sounds so good coming out of my mouth. And he is giving me a dreamy smile as he walks away. As I take the elevator up to my floor I can only think about that kiss. But as soon as I enter my apartment and I see the pictures of Finn I start feeling guilty. I stumble into my bedroom but first I grab some painkillers and a big glass of water for tomorrow morning when I would have hangover. And go to bed.

I wake up to a slightly snoring Izzie next to me I have no idea at what time she got in but we had left a key under the doormat in case we wouldn't get home together. When I look at the clock and see it is 10 am my mind goes into mommy mode and I run in to Liam's room, but it is empty and than I remember that he is not here. He is safe and sound at grandma and grandpa.

As I walk in to the kitchen I turn on the radio and than I decide to make some scrambled eggs for breakfast. After I put the eggs in the pan I start to stir them and then my mind wanders away to that kiss from last night with Derek. I hadn't planned on kissing anybody yesterday but something had drawn me to him. He looked older, way to old. Than I think I didn't even ask him how old he was. But the fact that I was only nineteen didn't seem to bother him at all. And that kiss had been so good and gentle.

I can hear Izzie saying: "uhmm mer, I think your eggs are burning!" and I snap out of my daydream. "Crap" I yell looking at the burned mess in the pan that was supposed to be my breakfast. "Were you day dreaming about Mcdreamy?" she asks me. I look at her and say, "Who is Mcdreamy?" "The good looking guy in the red shirt you were talking to last night in the bar, he even bought you tequila I saw." Izzie replies I stammer a no but my face is turning bright red and I cannot help to smile. Oh you so did Izzie says teasing me. Than she asks was he good? And I know she is fishing for details and if we had sex or not. I reply: "well the kiss was amazing but I wouldn't know the rest because nothing happened. I am not that girl who sleeps around drunk with everybody. I got his number though". And his name is not Mcdreamy but it is Derek. Even tough I like the fact that izzie calls him Mcdreamy.

After a quick shower I walk to the subway to pick up Liam back in to mommy modes. As I ride the subway my phone beeps indicating a text message. It is from Derek: I had fun last night can I call you tonight? As I reply to him with a smile on my face: I haven't had that much fun in a year! And of course you can call me tonight. I will be free after nine.


	5. Letting Finn go

**AN: An other chapter done for you guys! i have been exhausted from my new job over the last two weeks. I hope to find some time to write this week so i don't let you wait again for two weeks ... **

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Chapter 5 Letting Finn Go

Derek had definitely been right I had too much tequila shots I was having a big hangover. Izzie stayed around for most of the day but had gone back to her dorm room before diner. Liam had been a good sport today with keeping himself occupied and he had a really long nap. To be fair he looked exhausted when I picked him up from Matt and Kathrin.

When I arrive at Matt and Kathrin's apartment I can see from their faces that they had a hard night. "It looks like we all had a party last night." I joke but Kathrin doesn't look amused. Apparently Liam had woken up a few times trough the night and had screamed his head off for hours. As I walk in to the living room Liam is noticing me and starts crying again. "Oh my poor little boy did you miss your mommy?" I ask him as I pick him up giving him a big cuddle and rubbing his back trying to sooth him after a few big hiccups he settles down. As I turn around I say "next time this happens just call me and I will come and get him." " We didn't want to ruin your night out." Matt replies with an apologetic smile.

I am getting a little bit annoyed in this moment. Yes it would have sucked to go home early and pick up Liam. But something had clearly upset him and he wouldn't settle down. And I wasn't there to sooth him. The person he trusts and relies on wasn't there for him and I felt like I failed him. Wondering if I was becoming my mother. I promised myself never to turn in to my mother. I quickly push the thought out of my head because I know I am a good mother. I had sacrificed a lot for him. I didn't leave him with some stranger babysitter or a nanny. She had left him in the care of someone who really loved him. This was just a new situation for him and he just needed to adjust. We all needed to adjust to the new situation. I place Liam down in his stroller and pack up his nappy bag. I say "Thank you for watching him, he will get used to it and maybe now he knows mommy is coming back to get him. I will drop him off before class on Tuesday but not sure what time it is so I will call you tomorrow." As I walk to the subway Liam falls asleep exhausted after his first sleepover with grandma and grandpa I hope it will go better the next time!

I had tried to do some homework but that didn't go well with the hangover I was having. I had ended up on the couch with Izzie watching a surgical tape about an appendectomy I had seen it over a hundred times already and knew the procedure by heart. I had even watched it from an OR gallery. Izzie was looking at it like it was the most exciting and amazing thing in the world.

After dinner I decided to give Liam a bath I hadn't give him a bath on Saturday cause mommy was to fast and stopped him from splashing his food everywhere. Much to Liam dislike. I think I was making the connection with splashing his food around and having a bath. He starts the giggle and kick his feet when I take him with me to the bathroom. Running the hot water in the baby tub. I was sort of jealous at him for getting a bath. There was no space for a bath in my bathroom and showers were not as relaxing as a bath. I haven't had a bath in a long time. And I craved it so much when I was pregnant with him. I sit him in the tub and give him some toys and we start to play with the duckies. He is making lots of different noises and I can't wait for him to start saying mommy. I start soaping his hair with babyshampoo. Being very careful not to get it in his eyes. Liam is pointing and babbling to the boat on the other side of the tub. I reach for it and sail it to him making a boat engine sound. Liam is trying to mimic me but all he can manage is his car sound. After getting the soap out of his hair and soaping his tiny body I take him out of the tub that always results in kicking and screaming. I wrap him in a towel and place him on his changing table. Putting on his bodylotion and his nappy. Deciding to just leave him in his nappy for a while so the lotion can get in to his skin. It was warm enough in the apartment anyway. I sit down on the couch and put my legs up and place Liam with his back against my upper thigh. I as I stare into his blue eyes. I play peek a boo with him and he starts to giggle every time I come out of hiding from behind my hands. I can see he is getting tired so we go back to his room and put on his jammies. As I sit down in the rocking chair I get the Peter Rabit book out and start with the first story.

_Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, and their names were: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail, and Peter.  
They lived with their Mother in a sand-bank, underneath the root of a very big fir-tree._

"_Now, my dears," said old Mrs. Rabbit one morning, "you may go into the fields or down the lane, but don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden: your Father had an accident there; he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor."_

"_Now run along, and don't get into mischief. I am going out."_

_Then old Mrs. Rabbit took a basket and her umbrella, and went through the wood to the baker's. She bought a loaf of brown bread and five currant buns._

_Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton-tail, who were good little bunnies, went down the lane to gather blackberries;_

_But Peter, who was very naughty, ran straight away to Mr. McGregor's garden, and squeezed under the gate!_

_First he ate some lettuces and some French beans; and then he ate some radishes;_

_And then, feeling rather sick, he went to look for some parsley._

_But round the end of a cucumber frame, whom should he meet but Mr. McGregor!_

_Mr. McGregor was on his hands and knees planting out young cabbages, but he jumped up and ran after Peter, waving a rake and calling out, "Stop thief."_

_Peter was most dreadfully frightened; he rushed all over the garden, for he had forgotten the way back to the gate._

_He lost one of his shoes among the cabbages, and the other shoe amongst the potatoes._

_After losing them, he ran on four legs and went faster, so that I think he might have got away altogether if he had not unfortunately run into a gooseberry net, and got caught by the large buttons on his jacket. It was a blue jacket with brass buttons, quite new._

_Peter gave himself up for lost, and shed big tears; but his sobs were overheard by some friendly sparrows, who flew to him in great excitement, and implored him to exert himself._

_Mr. McGregor came up with a sieve, which he intended to pop upon the top of Peter; but Peter wriggled out just in time, leaving his jacket behind him._

_And rushed into the toolshed, and jumped into a can. It would have been a beautiful thing to hide in, if it had not had so much water in it._

_Mr. McGregor was quite sure that Peter was somewhere in the toolshed, perhaps hidden underneath a flower- pot. He began to turn them over carefully, looking under each._

_Presently Peter sneezed— "Kertyschoo!" Mr. McGregor was after him in no time,_

_And tried to put his foot upon Peter, who jumped out of a window, upsetting three plants. The window was too small for Mr. McGregor, and he was tired of running after Peter. He went back to his work._

I am half way trough the story and I see Liam's eye fall shut sucking slowly on his dummy. Placing him into his crib and saying Night, night I love you to him I shut of the light and go back into the living room. Looking at the clock I can see I have 30 min till Derek will call. And I can feel butterflies in my stomach when I think of him. I haven't felt them for a while. Grabbing my biology book of the side table and just started reading. This is how I kept up with pre med last year just reading my study book every time I had a free minute.

It was nine on the dot when my phone started ringing. I put my biology textbook back on the side table and I flick open my phone. Put it to my ear and I say "Hi, Derek" with a smile. "Hi Meredith, how is your hangover going?" He answers.

"Oh well you know how hangovers go". I reply with a huff. "You were so right about me being sorry in the morning." I can hear him chuckle into the phone. "So not a very productive day than." He asks. "No not at all." "I was planning to do some studying but I ended up watching surgical tapes on the couch with my friend the whole afternoon." I reply.

"Surgical tapes, did I hear that right?" He asked with humour in his voice

"Yes Surgical tapes." I reply.

"Why would you want to watch surgical tapes?" He asks surprised.

"Well, I am in pre med you know with the dream to become a surgeon one day. Didn't I tell you last night?" I say to him starting to giggle.

"No you didn't." He chuckles. "You were chatty but I don't think you mentioned your dream of becoming a surgeon. I think you were on a role because you were rambling the whole time what was kind of cute."

You think I am cute? I can feel my cheeks turning red, good thing Derek can't see my right now. I start to panic a little bit as well. O my god what did I tell him last night? I couldn't remember.

"I never said you are cute I said your rambling is cute." He says.

"Oh." I say a little bit deflated.

Than he says: "Your are the most beautiful woman I have seen."

"Oh you are such a sweet talker aren't you? Are you trying to get laid?" I say half smiling in to the phone trying to sound defensive.

"No I am not trying to get laid Meredith. I am just trying to get to know you." He says with a sigh.

My name sounded so sexy coming out of his mouth. I am trying to push the dirty thoughts out of my mind.

"So…" Derek starts. "Do you want to go for coffee tomorrow?"

"Uhmm… Sure, I have classes till 2." I say and than the rambling begins: "And I know this really nice coffee shop close to campus. But I am sure you don't want to be seen with a nineteen year old so close to campus. I can hear Derek chuckle and than he cuts me short. "Meredith breath." He says. "Two is fine just text me the address and I will meet you there." "Oke." I giggle. "I will see you tomorrow at two than. Bye Derek see you tomorrow." "Bye Meredith see you tomorrow." He says.

I have a big smile on my face when I place my phone next to me on the couch. I am having a date with Derek tomorrow. Liam goes to day care anyway so I will pick him up after the coffee date. As I practically skip to my bedroom I have a quick look in Liam's room he is fast asleep. Lying in bed I turn to my nightstand and look at Finn before I close my eyes.

Meredith's Dream:

_I am looking over the New York harbour looking at the ferry's going to Staten Island. Finn and I loved to ride the ferryboats in Boston. Just holding each other and looking over the water. I can feel somebody is looking at me and I turn my head to the side and see a figure walking towards me. A figure I know so well. Out of instinct I start running towards it. _

_When I reach him I am closing my arms around his body and burry my face in the crook of his neck. And I start sobbing. I miss you so much! I hiccup. Oh Mer baby I miss you too. I look up into his eyes. His big beautiful perfect eyes. But Mer it is time to let me go. You need to move on. Liam needs you to be happy. You have not been happy for a while now Mer. _

_I know Finn was right since the summer I was sort of depressed. "I just don't want to let you go." I say to him very firmly. He is brushing some hair out of my face. He goes on: "I will always have a place in your heart and I know you will never forget me. But you have your whole life ahead of you and you need to let someone else in. Liam needs a father figure in his life at one point." He stops for a moment to let it all sink in than he goes on: "That guy you met the other day looks lovely. Just give it a go and see what it brings. Figure it out in time but don't let me hold you back I want you to be happy." I can feel myself starting to smile when Finn refers to Derek. "See that is the smile I want to see on your beautiful face." He says. I am scared I confess to Finn. "What if I let him in and Liam gets attached and then we break up because it is not working?"_

"_Don't introduce Liam right away give yourself some time to get to know the guy and if everything feels good you make the decisions of letting him in in our sons life!" he answers. I smile even more when I hear him say "our son". I know Finn is right. _

_Just promise me one thing: "Don't let Liam forget who his father is." He looks heartbroken. Oh Finn I will never let Liam forget who his farther is. I promise. Putting my hands on his heart. _

_Than he holds me tight for a moment and gives me a last kiss on my forehead and he starts to back away. I feel my heart breaking in a thousand pieces again. I yell for him to come back but he keeps backing away. I can see him mouthing: "I love you" And than he is gone. And I am alone again looking at the ferryboats. I always had a thing for ferryboats._


	6. First date with Derek

**AN: there you go another chapter done. I was going to finish it last night but I fell asleep before I could edit it! Hope you all still enjoying the story. It is so funny that when I finally start writing that it is getting hard to stop and it is just coming out of my fingers! Reviews are always appreciated! **

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Chapter 6 First date with Derek

I was practically skipping on the NYU campus on Monday. I was very excited for my coffee date with Derek in the afternoon. It took me half an hour longer today just for the fact I didn't know what to wear and I had to put make up on. I saw George waiting outside of the lecture hall. I hadn't seen him since Saturday night. I was to occupied talking to Derek and drinking tequila. George took a look at me and said: " Mer why the hell do you have make up on?" "Well George, I have a coffee date after class." I reply with a big smile on my face. From the moment I told George than I saw his face change, it went from happy to sad and maybe I saw a bit of jealousy in it. I decided to let it slide for now because I didn't want it to affect my happy state of mind. But I definitely needed to talk to George about it. George became on of my first friend in New York when we started in our first year of NYU. He did help me trough the difficult times I had after Finn's death. And we became really good friends. But he always felt like a brother to me. I never had feelings for him at all.

We walk into the lecture hall together and find some seats and I get one for Izzie as well, she came in almost last minute. She thanked me for saving her a seat. Normally I was the one always running in at the last minute. "Easy morning?" Izzie asked while she was getting her stuff out of her backpack. "No not really but I was awake early but that was really helpful because I needed 30 minutes more to get ready because I couldn't decide what to wear to my coffee date with Mcdreamy." I said softly. Izzie's head shot up and with big eyes she almost yelled. "You have a coffee date with Mcdreamy!" "keep your voice down" I hissed. "They don't all have to know I have a date" "Sorry" Izzie said and send me an apologetic smile and then she whispered. "How did that happen so fast?" I wanted to reply to her but at the same moment the professor started talking and the lecture had begun. So I just whispered back: "I tell you later." And we both started listening to the professor. It was a lecture about physics and my mind was wondering away if I find something boring it is physics. All those laws and formulas. Not that is was bad at it. It came really easy on me. But it was a requirement for med school so that is why I took it. So I was daydreaming away 30 min into the lecture. I snap out of it when I feel Izzie tucking my arm. "Mer, lecture is over, daydreaming again?" she askes with a smile on her face. All I can to is smile shyly and I think I am turning red as well.

As we sit down in the cafeteria Izzie wastes no time and says, "spill" and she is looking at me with puppy dog eyes and I know it is my turn to start talking and she is not going to back down. "Oke, oke calm your horses." I say laughing. "Derek called me last night and we talked on the phone for a while and at the end of the conversation he was asking me out for coffee." "Apparently I was really drunk on Saturday because I couldn't remember the conversation we had in the bar." I said to Izzie. And than I was freaking out because he told me I was rambling and I thought I might had said something about Liam but he didn't say anything about that. OMG that would have been so horrible. He probably wouldn't want to do anything with me or maybe he thinks I am just an easy lay because I already have a child and OMG.'' Izzie was trying to interrupt me but I kept going. "I am so not ready to go trough with this I can't meet him later for coffee this is going to be so bad!"

"Mer" she yelled. "Just breathe." That was getting my attention and I remained silent. I was even a little out of breath.

"I am sure you didn't say anything about Liam" She said trying to calm me down.

"How would you know that I can't even remember the conversation I had because I was freaking drunk!" I said holding my hands up. Then she said. "Well what if you did, he doesn't look like a guy who would take advantage off you." "I don't know Iz." I reply with a sigh. "Mer, what is there to loose?" George asks me. I completely forgot that George was even there. "Well I have Liam to think about" I snap at him.

"But Mer you just starting to get to know the guy, you just met him. And Liam is still so little you weren't going to introduce him right away anyway. Just go and get that coffee and go on a couple of more date. Get to know him and than decide if you want to get him involved in Liam's life." Izzie says. "You are talking just like Finn." She said with a huff. Izzie and George just looked confused. "Oke fine, I will go on the coffee date." I say. "But first we need to get to chemlab." I say while standing up and grabbing my tray and walk out of the cafeteria.

After chemlab I am a bit more relaxed. We finished early so I slowly made my way to the little café and found a table at the window. The waitress came to my table and I ordered just water. And I opened my physics workbook to get some homework done while I was waiting for Derek. Every time I heard the bell ring I was looking up from my workbook to see if he was already there. It took him about 45 minutes to get there and I was almost finished with the boring physic questions. He was 15 minutes late and I was starting to wonder if he was standing me up. When I look up for the last time. I saw him walking in, dressed in jeans and a cashmere sweater that brought out his eyes. I saw him searching for me. And I waved. He walked towards me. And I just could look in awe at him. He was looking like a photo model and I couldn't believe he was actualy here for me. I was standing up to greet him and he pulled me into a hug. I was melting already!

"Sorry I am late, I was pulled into an emergency surgery right before the end of my shift and it took longer than expected" Derek said. "No worries, I used my time to do my homework but to be honest I was thinking you where going to stand me up." I say softly getting nervous. Derek apologised again. " I should have send you a text when I knew I was running late but in all my excitement and rushing to get here I forgot." Don't worry about it you are here now" I say with a smile.

"So I am on a date with a surgeon, that is impressive." I say. "Well I am not a surgeon yet I am a surgical resident, but I am going to be a surgeon one day a neurosurgeon actually." Derek said very proud.

"Well at least you have the right ego for it." I say laughing. Derek is faking he is hurt. "You know how to knock me down a little." "Somebody needs to do it, cause from what I remember from Saturday is that you were quite cocky" I reply laughing.

The waitress was standing at our table and Derek asked me what I wanted to drink. He ordered my vanilla latte and a black coffee with a double shot of espresso on the side. "Need to stay awake on your date" I joked. "I didn't get much sleep last night, it was a busy night in the ER." Derek said. "Wait a minute, did you call me from the hospital last night?" I asked him in confusion. "Busted, butt if it makes you feel better I was on my break anyway." He said. I was kind of flattered that he took time out of his break to call me.

"So I am on a date with a college student" he says while looking at my books. "Yes but you already knew that, you asked me how old I was at the bar. That was quite rude of you to ask a woman for her age now that I think of it." "You were the one that where drinking under age in a bar, you can not judge me about that" He says while winking at me. "I had a right to know how old you were cause I was the one buying you tequila." "I didn't hear you complaining when I was leaning into while we waited for a cab cause I couldn't stand up straight from all of the tequila" I say while think back to that moment. "Busted again, can you read my mind or something" He says. Than I start giggling, "No I don't have that kind of super powers."

"So as you know my age I would like to know yours cause you look way older than the guys I usually date." I say now seriously. Derek replies, " I just turned 28 last month." I was kind of shocked for a moment. I knew he was older and I kind of expected it when he told me he was a surgical resident. But when he actually said it, it became real. "Is that a problem for you" He asked insecure when I didn't respond. "No, as long you don't have a problem with me only being 19." " I think I made that clear with asking you out for coffee." He said. "That is solved than." I say while smiling.

The waitress is coming with our drinks and we try to get to know each other. We talk about surgery a lot and Derek is very impressed with my knowledge about surgery. I decide to let the cat out of the bag when he askes me who I know so much. "My mother is a general surgeon and I grew up watching her from the or galleries doing my homework and running around the hospital, you probably studied her in med school." I saw Derek thinking so I gave him another hint. "She invented the grey method." And than it clicked. "You are Ellis Grey's daughter" He says dumbfound. "Yes the one and only." I reply with a sigh. "That is quite impressive, just whooh. Surgery is in your blood than." He says. "I always wanted to be just like her when I was little but she told me I wasn't going to make it, so I am trying to prove her wrong."

"She must be really proud of you now that you on your way to become a surgeon." Derek stated. "Well if she does she doesn't really show, but that is a story for an other date." I say a little bit sad.

"You want to go on an other date with me?" Derek is looking me right into the eyes. He had a boyish grin on his face that made my heart melt. "Of course I want to go on an other date with you" I say with a smile on my face blushing a little. I was really drawn to him and he made me have butterfly in my stomach. Derek is just looking at me and I add, "Only if you want to of course!" "Oh yes, I would love to go out on another date with you, I was the one how told you needed me to get know me to love me, remember" He says laughing. "I want to take you out to diner somewhere this week something more fancy then this little café." He says. "Are you gonna give me flowers and romance and feel me up at the end of the night?" I ask him giggling. "Well I can see what I can do" he says winking at me. And than he adds "when are you free?" " Your schedule must be far more complicated than mine so when are you free?" I say in the back of my mind I think of Liam I might need to find a babysitter.

"I am free on Friday night and I don't have to start at the hospital on Saturday till 2 pm." "I just need to arrange a few things and then I will let you know if I can make Friday if that is oke?" I say. "Great, just let me know." Derek replies. He stands up to pay the bill and than we walk outside. "What direction are you heading?'' Derek asks. "Going back to campus to study some more." I say. "You are such a geek" Derek jokes. "Let me walk you back to campus than" He says and he is reaching for my hand. I intertwine my fingers with his and we start walking back to campus. My tiny hands are fitting perfectly in his bigger ones and I am just enjoying the feeling. Leaning slightly against him.

When we arrive at the library he turns to me and he looks me in the eyes and before I know it his lips are on mine in a soft kiss butt this time he is not asking for entrance. When he pulls away he is just looking at me. I want him to kiss me over and over again but he doesn't. He just says: "I had a great time with you today, Meredith. I will see you on Friday." I blush a little and than I reply: "I had a great time too, I will call you before Friday to let you know if I can make it." "Can't wait to hear from you." He says while winking. I peck him on the lips and than I let go of his hands and walk up the stairs into the library.

I sit down at one of the big tables and get out my books again to study some more before I need to pick up Liam. I reach for my phone and dial Izzie's number and say when she picks up: "I need a huge favour!"


	7. Starting to crawl

**AN: there we are again! And even a day early **** I had such fun writing this chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I already have a clear vision where I want the next chapter to go so I am on a roll again! **

Chapter 7 Starting to crawl

"I need a huge favour!" I say into the phone not even to be bothered to say my name. "Hello to you to Mer." Izzie jokes. "I am not joking Iz, I really need a huge favour." I say very serious. "Oke, what do you need?" Izzie says laughing.

" Ineedyoutowatchliamonfridaynight." I say really fast relieved that it is out of my system. "What do you say Mer, you are talking to fast, slow down." Izzie says still laughing into the phone. So I speak again this time slower so I don't have to ask it again "I need you to watch Liam on Friday night." "why?" she asks. "oh come on Iz, oke I have a date with Derek, are you happy now?" I say annoyed. "You are having another date with Mcdreamy?" Izzie squeals so hard into the phone that my ears hurt. "Of course I have a date with Mcdreamy where would you think I could get a date so fast if it wasn't him?" I say and Izzie just giggles. "So could you?" I say. "Could what?" Izzie says teasing me. "Watch Liam on Friday night!" I exclaim frustrated. Still giggling Izzie finaly answers.

"Of course I can!" and than she goes on "So how was your coffee date?" "It was great, but I don't want to talk about it over the phone could you come over tonight for diner, I really need to get going to pick up Liam on time?" I say. "Sure, do you need me to pick something up?" she asks. "Could you pick up some cheese and dessert? I still have all the other ingredients for pasta Bolognese." I say. "Oehh I love you pasta Bolognese!" she says and I can hear the excitement in her voice and I just laugh and than say "See you in an hour." "Right see you in an hour with cheese and dessert." Izzie says and than we hang up. I pick up my books. At least I finished my physics homework before I called Izzie. And make my way over to the day care centre.

As I walk into the day care centre I can hear Liam's giggle and I just look trough the window and I see Karen, one of the carers, dancing around with him making pirouettes that make Liam squeal and giggle. I can hear a children's song from behind the window. As I walk trough the open door. Karen says something to Liam and he immediately turns his head and giggles. As I drop my bags and walk closer to him he reaches out for me. I take him out of Karen's arms and give him a big cuddle. "Mommy missed you little guy." I say while snuggling him to my chest. Liam just babbles into my chest.

Karen is just a few years older than me and she is here almost every day when I pick up Liam. We came sort of close over the last few months. She was there when I left Liam for the first time at day care. She had to almost push me out of the room and leaf him be. Liam was not happy at all that his mother left him with those strangers and was screaming his head off. Karen took me into the next room for a little while and talked to me about leaving Liam. When I came out of the room and looked trough the window where Liam was and he was happily laying in one of the playpens and sucking on his dummy. That put me at ease and I pulled myself together and went to class. Liam loves Karen. I can see him smile every time he sees her.

While I cuddle my baby I say to Karen. "How was he doing today?" She answers smiling "We had a great day, lots of smiling, dancing and we even did some finger paint." "I can imagine ending that in a big mess." I say giggling. "That is was… Liam ended up having a bath after that" She says laughing. "You like your baths don't you little guy" I say to Liam and he looks up at me smiling, he starts kicking his legs when he hears the words bath. "No bath right now silly you had one already" I say laughing. I pack up his stuff and than we go home.

I walk into the door and feel exhausted. I pick up Liam's play mat and drag it to the kitchen so I can cook diner and watch him at the same time. I put all the ingredients on the counter and start chopping all the vegetables. The union as always is making me cry. I wipe my tears from my cheek and look over to the play mat but Liam is not there. I knew he was rolling over but he never went far. I put the knife on the counter and look around the kitchen but he is not there.

"Liam" I yell a bit scared. I can hear his giggle from the living room and run into the room. I see him next to a teddy bear, he is babbling to it. Than he pushes himself into sitting position and pull the bear into is arm and cuddles him. I look in awe at Liam. He is looking back at me with his big blue eyes. He pushes the bear away and start to crawl towards me. I clap my hand excitedly and say: "good job Liam!" I scoop him up in my arms when he reaches me and cover him with kisses. "Did you just crawl out of mommy's sight, you little rascal." Liam just smiles back at me.

I walk back into the kitchen place Liam back on the mat. I take on of the chairs and lay it on its side so it is blocking the doorway so Liam cannot escape. Going back to my chopping job. I am almost finished when I feel something at my legs. Liam is trying to climb in between the space from my legs and the counter. "Oh hi little one going on a adventure?" I say giggling as Liam wurms his way trough. And crawls further. I put a pot on the stove put in the union, garlic and vegetables. After 5 minutes I throw in the minced meat. As I stir the pot I hear the doorbell ring. I put the stove on low. Look around the kitchen for Liam and swipe him off the floor, push the chair out of the way and open the door.

"I come bringing cheese and strawberry ice cream!" Izzie says. "You are right on time, and you got boose." I wink at Izzie. "Liam can you say hi to Izzie?" Liam tries to wave at Izzie but he is not quite there yet it looks more like he is hitting something, but it is a start. I let Izzie in and we walk back into the kitchen where she puts everything on the counter and the grabs to wine glasses. I put Liam back on the floor and put the chair back into its place. "Uhm Mer, why are you barricading the doorway?" Izzie asks surprised. "Just look at Liam" I say pointing to him. I walk back to the stove and stir the meat before it starts to burn. Put in the tomatoes and the tomato sauce and stir again. I hear Izzie squeal. "He is crawling!" "Yes he did it for the first time today." I say proudly. "Hence the chair in the doorway he escaped into the living room right before you came because I didn't know he started crawling." I reach for my glass of wine. "I need to babyproof the apartment." I say after taking a sip. "That might be helpful, do you need a hand with that?" Izzie asks. "That would be great, thank you" I smile. "I need to finish that big biology paper tomorrow." I sigh. "Me too, that paper is a pain in my ass." Izzie says taking a big zip of her wine. "We finish early on Wednesday, maybe we can go to the store right after class and I will pick Liam up on the way home." I say stirring the pot and putting it on low so it can simmer for a while.

Liam is starting to get hungry as he starts to whale and putting his hands on my legs. Putting one of his cans into the microwave I warm up his dinner. And I prep his bottle for later. As the microwave beeps I pull out the can and put into a small bowl it looks disgusting. The label on the can says pumpkin, chicken and potato. Izzie is playing on the floor with him. She is such a good friend. I put his dinner on the table and say: "Dinner is ready Liam." Liam drops his toy on the floor and starts to crawl over to the high chair. I pick him up place him in the highchair. I grab a bib and start feeding him. Izzie is joining me at the table. "So …." She starts. "How was your coffee date with Mcdreamy?" "He was 15 minutes because he was pulled into a surgery right before the end of his shift. So I was starting to think that he was going to stand me up." I say while giving Liam another spoonful of his dinner. "But than he showed up looking like a photomodel and all I could do was just stare at him while he walked towards me." "So he is still Mcdreamy even though he was late to your first date?" Izzie asks. "Yes he is, those eyes are just so blue I can drown in them forever. Oh and his hair I just want to run my fingers through it!" I say blushing a little. Liam is slamming his hands on the tray demanding another bite. He seems to love the flavour and I make a metal note that I need to get more of that flavour. "And he just is so handsome and kind." I say. "Oh Mer, are you falling for him?" "Puff of course not." I huff while feeding Liam another spoonful and reaching for my wine and taking a big gulp. "Oh Mer, you so are." Izzie says. I almost spit out my wine, I try to stop it and now the wine is coming out of my nose and I start to cough. Liam is laughing at me as there is snot coming out of my nose I reach for the wet wipes. "Oh you think it is funny Liam that your mommy is falling for another man, you should be scared that you are not the only man in my life anymore." I say very serious to him.

"So you admit it!" Izzie exclaimed. "Oke, I admit it I am falling for Mcdreamy!" I say giggling. I give Liam his last spoonful and walk over to the fridge to crab a yoghurt. He loves strawberry yoghurt! I stir a little bit in the pot with sauce. "You hungry yet?" I ask Izzie. "I am starving!" Izzie says dramatic. "Can you feed Liam his yoghurt so I can finish dinner?" "Yes sure, how hard can it be to feed a baby his favourite yoghurt." She says and I just snicker inside.

I search for a big pot for the pasta. And bring the water to a boil. As I am waiting for the water to start boiling I can see Liam reaching for a spoon full of yoghurt with his hands. Before Izzie notices it Liam slaps the spoon out of her hands and it is al over the tray. "Liam, no grabbing the spoon!" she exclaims. She try's again. But no luck Liam is waving his hands around in excitement having fun with this little game. And this time the yoghurt lands on Izzie's hands and jeans. I burst out laughing. "It is not funny, Mer! "Oh yes it is Iz" I say still laughing. I walk over to the highchair. "Oke, can I trust you to cook the pasta? Than I will take over feeding the baby." Izzie wipes the yoghurt of her hands and jeans and walks over to the stove.

I finish feeding Liam. I manage to keep the mess to a minimum. I wipe of his face and hands. I just leave him in the highchair for a bit longer. I set the table for dinner. As Izzie puts the pasta on the table I take the sauce of the stove and place it on the table. Than I lift Liam out of the chair so he can move around while we eat.

"Did you kiss him again?" Izzie asks in between bites. "Yes, he walked me back to the library and kissed me goodbye. We had such a lovely time, I told him who my mother was and he was dumbfound." I say giggling. "You told him the mommy secret?" Izzie says. "Yes we were talking about surgery a lot and he was very impressed with how much I knew about surgery, it just slipped out. I just feel very comfortable with him." I say taking another sip of my wine. "Did you talk about Finn?" Izzie asks quietly. "O no thank god no! You don't talk about your death boyfriend who you have a child with on your first date. And no I didn't talk about Liam either. I just want to get to know the guy first." I say. "So you just talked about surgery? You didn't really get to know him." Izzie says confused. "We did talk about surgery and I need to get to know him better we will definitely have to work on that on the next date. I did find out his age tough!" I say. "Oh do tell!" Izzie says very excited. "He turned 28 last month." I say quietly. "Isn't that a bit to old, Mer?" Izzie asks. "No I am not bothered with it as long he isn't. It is just 10 years and I am not a typical 19 year old." I say looking over to Liam. "And I don't think guys of our age want to get involved with someone who already has a baby." I say sadly. "As long as you are happy. That is what counts" Izzie says comforting me. "I am very happy at the moment" I reply with a smile. "So I am going to watch the little one on Friday night, so you can go on your date with Mcdreamy." Izzie says. "Yes, thank you very much for that. I will have him ready in his jammies or already in bed it depends on what time Derek is going to pick me up." I say. "I will bring my own jammies so you can come home as late as you want. Just have fun with Mcdreamy." Izzie says smiling. "You are such a great friend, thank you." I say while standing up and giving her a hug. "No problem, Mer that is what friends are for." Izzie says. "So I will do the dishes cause you cooked and you can get the little on of to bed and than we can watch a movie and eat the icecream." Izzie orders.

When Liam is in bed and fast a sleep. He was exhausted from all the crawling. We sit down on the couch. Izzie already picked a movie and I was a bit surprised that she pick on of my mothers tapes again. "Are you hooked on those tapes as well." I ask jokingly. "Maybe just a little." Izzie winks at me. And than I remember that I had to let Kathrin know what time I was going to drop Liam off. "Just hold on one second." I say to Izzie while I run into my room to grab my agenda. My first class is at 10 o'clock so I will drop him of at 9. I quickly sent a text to Kathrin and than I sit down on the couch next to Izzie who already started the strawberry ice cream.


	8. Surprise visitor

Chapter 8 Surprise visitor

I spent my morning chasing after Liam who did not want to get dressed because crawling around in his jammies was much more interesting than laying still on the changing table. "Ugh, Liam please we need to get going if we want to be on time at grandma's." I huff at him. He stops dead in his tracks when he hears the word grandma and starts to giggle. I take this opportunity to scoop him of the floor and walk into his room placing him on the changing table I tickle his belly. He squeals and kick is little legs. "Got you little man!" I say laughing to him. Chancing him into sweatpants and a t-shirt that says mischief-maker. I pull a little sweater over his head so he is nice and warm. Placing him into the stroller with his bag for the day already on it. Putting his sunglasses on and heading out of the apartment. I sprint to the subway and we just make it in time to hop on.

I arrive at Matt and Kathrin's just to see Matt getting out of the elevator he is off to work. He gives me a hug and waves to Liam. Liam is just smiling at him. We go up to the top floor. I take Liam out of the stroller and knock on the door. The door swings open and we are greeted with a very happy Kathrin. Liam just giggles in delight and start to kick his legs when he sees her. Kathrin takes Liam out of my hands and says: "come in dear." I push the stroller in while Kathrin put Liam in the playpen. "You might want to put him on the floor Kathrin he learnt a new trick yesterday." I say to her and she looks surprised at me. "I definitely have to see the new trick, little man." She says to Liam while putting him on the playmat on his belly. Liam pushes him self of the floor onto his knees at starts to crawl ready for a new adventure in Kathrin's living room. Kathrin just claps her hands and is cheering Liam on. "I almost had a heart attack yesterday when I was cooking diner and he was not in the spot where I left him. I found him in the living room playing with his teddy bear." I say to Kathrin. "I can imagine." Kathrin says while still looking at Liam. "Oke everything you need is in the bag, I have to get to class and I will be back around 5. I need to finish this big biology paper." I say while walking over to Liam and giving him a kiss on hiss head. "Bye Liam." I say to him and wave. "Take all the time you need to finish that paper dear. We will have fun." Kathrin says to me. I wave on last time and than I am out of the door.

After class Izzie, George and I walk over to the library as we all need to finish the paper. We find a big table where we all can sit. I get my laptop out of my bag and the books I need for my last piece of research and I start typing. I am so into the paper that I don't feel somebody standing behind me till someone whispers in my ears. "I knew I would find you here." I jump in my seat. I see Izzie looking up from her laptop and she just smiles. I turn around and see Derek standing behind me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask surprised but quietly. "I needed to study up on a surgery and thought I would do it with my favourite student." He says smiling and kisses me. "Hi." He mumbles against my lips. "Hi." I mumble back not wanting it to end. But Izzie starts to cough and Derek pulls away far to quickly for my liking. He pulls up a chair and sits next to me. "O, and I missed my favourite geek." Derek says teasing me. I slap Derek on the chest. "I am not a geek!" I giggle and than I add "You are the geek cause you are the 28 year old trying to study in an university library, mister." I say while winking at him. "That might be so, but I am your geek." He says smiling and kissing me again. This time it is George who coughs and I pull away and turn to my friends. "What is your guys problem?" I huff towards them. George starts "it is quit distracting when you do that in front of our faces." Izzie adds. "At least you could have introduced us." "Right." I say. "Izzie, Derek. Derek, Izzie. George, Derek. Derek, George." I say while pointing at each other. "Happy now?" I ask Izzie and she just nods and goes back to writing her paper. George is still staring at Derek like a lost puppy.

I turn to Derek "What do you need to study for?" I ask him. "I am scrubbing in on a corpus callosotomy tomorrow." He says cocky. "You are cutting someone's brain in half tomorrow. That is so cool." I say in excitement "I am not cutting I am just observing and assisting but yes the neurosurgeon is cutting someone's brain in half. So what are you doing?" Derek says. "I am just writing a boring biology paper that needs to be finished by tomorrow." I sigh. "It can not be that boring it is biology." He states. "Well it is when it is about the ecosystem, I wish we could move on the human biology part." I say without thinking. "I could help you out with that." Derek whispers into my ears and I turn bright red hoping that neither George nor Izzie heard him. "Stop distracting me. I really need to finish this paper." I say laughing and turn to my laptop again. Derek just sighs but out of the corner of my eyes I can see him smiling. He opens up a big neuro textbook and starts making notes.

I close my laptop as I finished my paper. I can see Izzie writing a note and sliding it over to me. I open the note and it reads. "You know you could have some fun in the library." Followed by a winking emoticon. My head shuts up looking at Izzie and she is nodding her head in the directions of the bookshelf. Derek is still into his neuro textbook that he doesn't even see it. I think about it for a moment and than stand up. Derek still doesn't notice so I whisper in his ear. "Come with me." He head shuts up and looks at me. I take his hand and pull him towards the bookshelf. He catches on rather quickly. Cause when we reach the back of the library he pulls me into the last row and pushes me up against the bookshelfs and kisses me softly. "Hhmm I like this kind of distractions." Than he starts again and this time my hands go up to his hair and I run my fingers trough it. It feels so perfect. I can feel one his hands roaming over my back and the other one in my hair. Than I feel something pressing against me. I pull away and say while looking at his bulge in his pants: "Uhmm Derek I think we might need to stop. I don't want to be our first time to be in the library." "Oh god no we don't want that." Derek says "I am just excited to see you." He says winking. Than he says. "We can just stick." Kiss. "To the kissing." Kiss. "I can control myself." Kissing me longer till we are both out of breath. "I like kissing you" He says while looking into my eyes. "I like kissing you too." I say pulling his face down to mine again. I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket but I try to ignore it but than it goes of for a second time and I forgot that I was pressed up against Derek. He pulls away and says "You should get that, it might be important." I reluctantly pull away and fish the phone out of my pocket. Kathrin's name is across the screen. My heart beats a little faster and I walk away from Derek back to the table and answer the phone.

I am aware that he is following me so I have to watch my words. "Hi Kathrin." "Hi Meredith. Liam is doing so great with the crawling." I just say "mmmm." She goes on "I was wondering if you would like to stay for dinner when you finished your paper." "Yes I would love to stay for diner that would be great. I will go back and finish the paper and than I will see you around 5 oke" I say. As I reach the table she says. "oke I will let you finish, bye Meredith." "Bye Kathrin." Izzie looks up from her laptop and I just shake my head at her. Nodding in the direction of Derek. I glance at my watch and see it is already four O'clock. I need to go in 45 minutes. Derek is already back into his neuro textbook and I decide to do some of the homework that was assigned today. I am in the middle of it when Izzie asks: "Are we still on for tomorrow after school." I look up from my book and say: "Yes we are still on for tomorrow." Izzie just smiles and than says. "Right I am going to go home, see you tomorrow." And to Derek and George she says "Bye guys."

George is still busy with his paper and now it is really time to go. I turn to Derek. "I am going as well. What time are you picking me up on Friday?" Derek looks up from his textbook. "I will pick you up around 7. How does that sounds?" he says. "Sounds great I will be ready!" I wink at him. "I will let you study now, good luck tomorrow on the surgery." I say. "Thanks" he says and than he pecks me on the lips and says "Bye Meredith." "Bye Derek." I say and than I turn to George. "Bye George see you tomorrow." "Bye Mer." He says. I see Derek look at George when he said Mer, like he was jealous or something. I just shook my head while walking away. I felt bad for George leaving him alone with Derek but I really needed to go. I turned around one last time and Derek was already back into the corpus callosotomy theory and I just smiled.

I try to feed Liam his dinner while Kathrin is cooking dinner. But Liam is not having it. He wants to be down on the floor crawling. "Seriously Liam, can you behave for once we are not at home" I say annoyed when he slaps the spoon out of my hand for the second time and it lands on the floor. I give up wipe his face and put him on the floor again. He excitedly crawls back to the toys that are spread al over the room. "I will just feed you later than" I sigh as I plop back into the chair. He can be exhausting sometimes.

Kathrin starts to talk to me. "He is getting so big you must be very proud of him?" "Yes I am very proud of my little trooper it must be hard for him not having a daddy figure in his life." I say a little sadly. "Oh dear, don't worry about that right now, he doesn't know any better than it is just you. He is a very happy baby and that is because of you!" Kathrin says. "I know I just wish I hadn't had to do it all alone. We were in this together. And know I am doing it alone. It is just not fair." I say starting to breakdown "I wasn't sure we were going to make it, cause going to college and raising a child it wouldn't have been easy, but we didn't even get the chance of proofing everybody wrong. He didn't even have a chance to see his son." At this point I have tears streaming down my face. "It is just not fair." I can feel something at my legs and Liam is looking up at me with a face that says Mommy why are you crying and that he wants to comfort me. I pick him up from the floor and cuddle him into my chest. It makes me even sob more when I do this. And right at this point Matt walks to the door and looks confused to the scene in front of him. "What happened." He asks Kathrin. "She is just having a breakdown about Finn not being here and not doing a good job." Kathrin says while doing something at the stove.

Matt walks over to me and sits down next to me. "Meredith, listen to me." He says. I am still burying my head into Liam's little shoulders. "Meredith." He says for a second time and this time I look up. "You are doing a fantastic job look at you. You are raising a baby while going to college full time. You had a job on the side last year. Worked your ass off last summer to spend more time with Liam during term time. And you are living on your own. Not many 19 year olds can say that." " I know I am doing a good job, I just wish Finn was here to do it with me." I sniff calming down a little bit. Matt pulls me into a big hug that almost feels like Finns. "You are alright" Matt says while rubbing my back. "I am alright." I say finally calmed down. Matt starts to talk again. "So anything interesting going on in your life except Liam?" he says while tickling Liam's belly that earns a giggle. I think for a little bit deciding if I want to tell them already. "Well actually yes there is something interesting in my life." I start. "I am dating someone." I am not sure if I want to look at Matt and Kathrin's faces at the moment but I do it anyway. Matt looks a bit shocked. "You are dating someone?" He asks surprised. "Yes well we just had one real date and we studied together today I am going on another date with him on Friday." I say pausing. "Well tell me more about this guy where and when did you meet him and what is his name?" Matt asks. "His name is Derek, I met him the other day when you had Liam overnight for the first time. And yesterday we had some coffee together and today he showed up at the library to study with me." I say. "What does he study?" matt asks. "He is a surgical resident at NYU medical, so he doesn't really study anymore." "How old is he?" Matt asks I can feel he is holding it back a little. "He just turned 28." I say. As I say this Kathrin is dropping the cutlery on the floor in the kitchen. It makes a loud noise that makes Liam jump and whimper in my arms. I rock him a little and that calms him right down. I place him on the floor again. "Does he know out Liam?" matt asks curious. "No, not yet. I want to get to know him a little better before I introduce him to Liam. He seems like a very nice guy. I really like him." I say smiling when I think of Derek. "I am happy for you that you met someone. We knew it was going to happen one point. But now it is getting real." He says a little sad. Now it is my time to hug him. "He will always be in my heart. And Liam will always be a reminder of him." I say trying to comfort him. "When the time is right can we meet him?" Matt asks. "Of course you get to meet him one day if I decide to go trough with it."

"Can someone please set the table, dinner is almost ready?" Kathrin cuts in. "Right I will try to feed the little monkey again, see if I get lucky this time." I say while walking over to Liam who is playing with some toys. "Right little man, dinner is ready." I say to him. He drops his toys and crawls over to the high chair. This was so much easier than carrying him around all the time! "Oke lets try this again, but no funny business this time." I say sternly to Liam. I walk over to the microwave and warm up his dinner. Kathrin put the pot with risotto on the table. "I love risotto!" I exclaim. "I know dear I remembered it was one of your favourite so I made it just for you!" Kathrin says with a smile as she serves me a plate. Liam's hands reaches out for it but it is to far away. "No, no that is mommy's dinner Liam here is yours." I say while offering him another bite. I take on bite of my risotto and I just moan in pleasure. "This is sooo good!" "Thank you dear, just enjoy it." Kathrin says. The rest of dinner goes fine. Now it is time to get home. "Oke Liam say bye bye to grandma and granddad we are going home. Liam crawls over to Matt and reaches up to be picked up. Matt scoops him up and Liam is delighted with giggles. I quickly snap a picture of the two of them. And I gather all of his stuff and say goodbye to Matt and Kathrin. "See you next week Liam." Kathrin says while she waves to him. Liam just smiles at her.


	9. Flowers Romance And Feeling Me Up

**AN: Hi guys sorry for not updating last week. I didn't have much time to write and a little writes block but I finished the chapter and it is a long one so here you go. Hope it makes up for last week! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 9 Flowers, Romance And Feeling Me Up

It is Wednesday night and Izzie and I plop down on the couch exhausted, we spent the whole afternoon running around town to find everything for baby proofing the apartment. It was breaking my bank so quickly I need to get some shifts at the hospital during my next break. But we had found everything we needed. We picked up Liam on the way home, he had been fed, but didn't eat much and was asleep in is room. "Right" I start. "We did all the shopping now we need to install everything." "Can we at least order some pizza first, I am starving!" Izzie sighs. "You are always starving Iz, there is no surprise there." I say laughing while getting my phone and dialling the number already ordering a big peperoni pizza to share.

"Oke, food is on the way, lets get started!" I say. "Great, where are we going to start?" Izzie says while getting of from the couch. "Uhmm let's start with one of the gates." I say while grabbing one of the big boxes. I pull out the instructions and look at it and say. "It doesn't look very hard, we can pull this off!" I sit in the doorway Izzie is right in front of me and we try to get the gate to fit but it is harder than it looks. We struggle to get the gate straight when turning the little stoppers against the wall so it is steady. "Ready turn." I say but the gate flops over. "Ugh Mer this is so not working, let's try it a different way." Izzie says. I huff and puff and say: "Do you know of another way to do this? This is going to take forever and we need to do 2 more of these!"

"Maybe we should start on the top and not at the bottom so it doesn't fall over every time." Izzie thinks out loud. "That might actually work, why didn't I think of that!" I say while I stand up from the floor. "Let's try this again" and this time it actually works we turn the little stoppers at the same time till the frame is secure and than we move on to the bottom part and that is way easier now. The gate is standing straight and it doesn't fall over when you try to open it. Izzie and I both laugh. "Right let's put the one in at the kitchen and than the hallway to the front door. That will give Liam some space to crawl around without getting to far. After struggling with the first gate the other two are done very quickly and we just finished the one at the front door when we hear the doorbell ring. "Pizza is here!" Izzie says excitedly and runs to open the door while I grab my wallet and pay the delivery guy.

I trip over the gate on my way back to the couch. "Ouch, I need to get used to that gate now." I say while standing up from the floor and rubbing my knee. While we were eating the pizza I hear a faint sound from the monitor on the side table, Liam was waking up. I was hoping he was just tossing and turning in his sleep but after 15 min I heard a tiny little cry. Izzie looked at me. "Aren't you going to get him?"

"No, I am waiting if he will go back asleep by himself" I reply while taking another bite of the pizza. "But he didn't eat much at diner he might be hungry, I tried to give him a bottle right before bed but he wasn't having it. I hope he isn't coming down with anything." I sigh. "It wouldn't be nice if you show up on your date with Derek with baby puke all over you." Izzie says laughing "No, no it wouldn't I would love to see his face tough if it happened." I say smirking. "Are you going to tell him about Liam on Friday?" Izzie asks. "I might." I say thinking about it. "I don't want to lie about my life and we do want to get to know each other. And it wouldn't be fair to him, he needs to know that Liam and I come in a package." " Yes that would be fair to him." Izzie says. At this point Liam is full on crying and I know he won't go to sleep on his own. I stand up from the couch and say to Izzie. "I am going to try to feed him a bottle."

I walk over to the kitchen and prep a bottle for him and taking it into his room. Switching on the light I see Liam sitting up in his bed, this reminds me that I need to lower it because other wise he is going to fall out off it. I put his bottle on the changing table walking over to him. "Are you alright little man, what's wrong?" I ask while I see tears rolling down his face. His dummy laying on the floor somewhere. He reaches out for me and I pick him up he just buries his head into my neck and hiccups I rub his back while grabbing his bottle and walking over to the rocking chair and sitting down. As soon as I put the bottle into his mouth he starts sucking it. "Were you hungry Liam?" I ask with a smile on my face he returns my smile while sucking his bottle. "That is what's happens when you don't want to eat your dinner." I say while rubbing his tummy. And than I start to sing:

_You are my sunshine  
My only sunshine  
You make me happy  
When skies are grey  
You'll never know, dear  
How much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away_

After finishing his bottle I grab his dummy of the floor and start rocking him to sleep and sing:

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word.  
Mommy's going to buy you a mocking bird._

_And if that mocking bird don't sing,  
Mommy's going to buy you a diamond ring._

_And if that diamond ring is brass,  
Mommy's going to buy you a looking glass._

_And if that looking glass gets broke,  
Mommy's going to buy you a billy goat._

_And if that billy goat don't pull,  
Mommy's going to you a cart and bull._

_And if that cart and bull turn over,  
Mommy's going to buy a dog called Rover._

_And if that dog called Rover don't bark,  
Mommy's going to buy you a horse and cart._

_And if that horse and cart turn round,  
You'll still be the sweetest little babe in town._

By the end of the song Liam is fast asleep as always. My singing always makes him sleepy while I am rocking him. I place him back in to his crib giving him a kiss on his forehead and say "Night, night Liam, sweet dreams."

As I walk back into the living room Izzie says "You have such a sweet singing voice." "How do you know that?" I ask surprised and she just points over to the monitor. "It has always worked singing him to sleep. It even worked when he was still in my tummy. He was sometimes very active at night and kicking me so one night I just started to sing and he calmed down." I say with a smile on my face while thinking back to one of those nights. "Oke let's finish baby proofing. Start with covering al the electrical out puts. I am just going to write on the fridge that I need to lower Liam's crib before he falls out of it." I say while tossing Izzie a packed of covers. "If you start with the living room, I will do the kitchen." We do every room and every output except for the ones in Liam room. Even the ones that are out of reach from the floor, better safe than sorry.

When we finished that I take a look at the kitchen cabin locks but I see I need a drill for those. "Oh no, I need a drill for these and I don't have one." I say frustrated because I wanted to get it done tonight. "Maybe you could ask Derek if he has a drill on Friday." Izzie jokes a little. "Yes right Izzie very romantic like, Derek I had such a nice time but would you happen to have a drill so I can put locks on my kitchen cabinets so my baby doesn't get into them." I giggle. "No maybe not such a good idea, but you could always try." She says half laughing. "He is not opening cabinets yet anyway so it doesn't matter, I will ask Matt next time I see him. Thanks for helping me today Iz." I say. "No problem Mer that is what friends are for, but I am going to get home now I have some homework to finish.

Friday night came rather quickly but for once I was not running behind. Liam had been the perfect baby today. No smashing food around actually eating when he was supposed to and now he was happily playing with some toys in my room while I got dressed for a the date with Derek. And again I couldn't decide what to wear. First I put on some jeans and a nice t-shirt but than I remembered that I asked for flowers, romance and feeling me up at the end of the night. So I changed again and I am now standing in front of the mirror dressed in a nice figure hugging dress that accentuated my hips in the right spots. I saw Liam in the mirror looking at me. "How does mommy look?" I ask him and Liam replies "a bobo ba." "Oh you think so, you think mommy looks pretty." I say giggling Liam crawls over smiles and babbles: "ba di da."

I scoop him of the floor. "Right my charming prince it is time for bottle and bed and you are going to behave for Izzie and sleep trough the night." I say while walking over to the kitchen to grab his bottle out off the warmer. I quickly send Izzie a text that the key is under the doormat. Sitting down in the rocking chair feeding Liam his bottle. He is trying to reach the bottle with his hands and he actually puts his hands around it but as soon as I let go of the bottle it flops over. Oke not such a good idea I mutter to myself. Placing the bottle back into his mouth and he happily sucks his bottle empty. Placing him into his crib I give him his favourite teddy bear and starts to babble again "ba di bobo da" I kiss him good night shut off the lights and back out of the room.

As I close his door I hear the front door opening. "So how is my date for the night? Izzie asks while we both walk into the living room. "He is in his crib, put him down a little bit early hope he will fall asleep soon and doesn't wake up in the night." I say while tossing Izzie the monitor I can still hear him babbling but he is content. "I need to fix my make up, Derek is going to be here in 30 minutes." I say excitedly and blushing a little bit and walk into the bathroom. Coming out 15 min later make up on my face and ready to go. "So I won't be back that late, you should be fine there are snacks in the kitchen and the tapes are under the TV." I say to Izzie. "Mer don't bother about coming home early, take your time and enjoy it, I will see you in the morning." Izzie says. "Are you saying I don't need to come home at all? I ask surprised. "Well if it leads to that than yes that is fine, just enjoy it, you deseverd it." She says. "Are you sure I don't mind waiting till next week when Liam sleeps over at Matt and Kathrin." I say. "Yes I am sure." Izzie says while I hear the doorbell ring. "He is on time this time." I giggle while hugging Izzie. "How do I look?" "Fabulous no go have fun with Mcdreamy." Izzie says. "Thanks and I will" I say while walking over to the hallway closing the door behind me and opening the front door.

A nicely dressed Derek greets me and he is holding a bouquet of flowers, roses to be exactly. Oké, that nicely dressed was an understatement he was dressed in a suit with a blue tie that brought out his eyes. "Hi, these are for you" Derek says holding out the roses to me. I just look him up and down and I am speechless. "Thanks" I manage to get out while taking the flowers. "Just wait a moment, let me put this in water. They are beautiful." I say I had finally found my voice again.

I turn around and walk back in to the living room closing the door behind me again. "Can you put these in water please?" I ask Izzie really quiet. "Sure" she says while taking the flowers to the kitchen and I go back to Derek. "Right I am ready to go." I say to him. He takes my hand and pulls me to him and kisses me softly. "You look beautiful tonight." He says. "You don't look bad yourself I am glad a changed I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt before this." I say giggling. "You would have looked beautiful in that too." He says with a grin on his face. "Are you trying to get in my pants already? We didn't even leave yet." I say teasing him. "Right let's go." He replies while taking me out to the street.

We walk over to a motorcycle and I stop dead in my tracks. "You drive a motorcycle?" I ask. "Yes…" Derek replies insecure. "I am not getting on the back of a motorcycle dressed like this. What did you think?" I say while gesturing to my dress heels and my hair. "This took my like an hour to do!"

"Clearly I wasn't thinking at all." Derek replied, while he tried to hale a cab. It doesn't take him very long. He opens the door for me like a real gentleman. As we slide in to the cab Derek gives the driver the address. "Where are we going?" I ask him. "That is a surprise." He says while kissing my cheek. "I don't like surprises." I huff. "Can you at least tell me what kind of restaurant we are going to?" I say while having a little sparkle in my eyes. "It is an Italian one, I hope you like that." He says with a smirk. "I love Italian food." I say just looking at him. He grabs my hand and we just looking at each other in silence for the entire cab ride.

The cab pull op in front of an expensive restaurant and I begin to stutter. "Derek, this is to much you don't have to take me to an expensive restaurant to impress me." "I know that but you asked for romance didn't you? This is me bringing the romance." He says with a smile on his face and grabbing my hand and walking towards the entrance. "Next time we will just go to a dirty bar, I promise." He says while opening the door. "Just enjoy it, did I tell you look beautiful tonight?" He is trying to distract me. "Once or twice" I giggle.

"Good evening welcome to Scalini Fedeli. Did you have a reservation sir?" The hostess asks while she is looking at Derek like how I look at strawberry ice cream. "Reservation for 2 under the name Shepherd" Derek replies while pulling me closer to him. The hostess looks in the book till she finds his name marks it and asks us to follow her. She leads us to a table at the window. Derek pulls out my chair, normally I would throw a tantrum about that but I let him do it. He seems a little uncomfortable with the hostess looking at him. I decide to help him out a little. "Thank you, babe." I say while grabbing his tie pulling him down a give him a peck on the lips. "Your welcome darling." He replies and walks over to his own chair. "Can I get you anything to drink for starters." She asks, I think she is blushing. Mission accomplished. "We will start with to glasses of champagne, bottle of water and could you give me the wine menu." Derek says to her with a polite smile. And I just look at Derek. "Your waiter will be right with you" she says and walks away.

"I think I have some competition." I mutter under my breath. Derek just looks at me. "I have one rule for this date. I am going to ask you about your corpus callosotomy surgery and afterwards no talking about surgery cause that is all we talk about." I say to him. "I like it when you bossy like that, deal" He says with a smirk on his face and now it is my time to blush. "So how was your surgery? "It was really cool. I got to observer from really close and the neurosurgeon was asking me a lot of questions and explaining what he was doing in and than on the end of the surgery he was paged away for an emergency and asked me to close up because I did a really good job" He says with a sparkle in his eyes. "You closed all by yourself?" I asked in awe. "Yes." He said very proud with a cocky smile. "And you didn't screw up?" I ask teasing him. "Jeez, thanks for the confidence." He replies. "Well somebody needs to knock down your big ego." I say laughing and than he laughs with me.

"Oke enough about surgery, tell me something about yourself I want to get to know you." I ask him. He thinks for a while and starts. "My full name is Derek Christopher Shepherd, my fathers name is Michael, my mothers name is Carolyn. Her maiden name is Malony. I have four sisters. I have uh 2 nieces and a nephew. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public."

The waiter interrupts him with the wine menu and the diner menu's. While the waiter gives us the champagne and the water. He asks: "Do you like red or white wine?" "White." I reply with a smile. He orders a chardonnay and than the waiter is on his way. "Cheers, to getting to know each other." He says while lifting up his glass. I pick my glass and say: "Cheers." And we take a sip. It is really good champagne. I open up the menu and he a look trough it. It all looks very delicious. My eyes fall on the risotto al funghi and I know that is what I want to order. Derek asks if there is anything I like. "The risotto looks amazing. Do you know what you want to eat?" I ask. "I think I might go for the steak. And we can order some bread for starters." He says. "Fine with me." The waiter comes back with the bottle of wine and places it in the wine holder because we still have to finish the champagne. Derek orders the food and than he turns his attention back to me.

"So where was I?" He asks with a smile on his face. "You never dance in public." I reply. "Right, my favourite novel the sun also rises. Favourite band The Clash. Favourite colour is blue, I don't like light blue indigo. The crook is in nose is from a fight with Mark, my best friend, I think it was about a girl in 9th grade." He says and I just giggle. "Glad that it is amusing for you." He says and goes on. "I grew up in Connecticut, did pre med at Bowdoin than moved back to New York for medical school at Columbia. And now I am a second year surgical resident, but you already knew that. And I live with Mark who also is a second year surgical resident." He says and after taking a sip of his champagne he asks: "So that is me, what about you?"

The waiter is placing a basket with bread on the table and I grab a piece of bread and I take a big sip of my champagne and say: "Oke, here goes nothing, my full name is Meredith Elizabeth Grey, my fathers name is Thatcher, who I haven't seen since I was five. My mothers name is Ellis. I am an only child. I lived in Seattle till I was five. Than my father left and my mother moved with me to Boston. I grew up in the care of nanny's and spent a lot of time walking around the hospital while my mother was in surgery. I love strawberry ice cream and tequila." I wink at him and he just laughs and I continue. "I do like to dance in public. Favourite novel The Lucky One. Favourite band Duran Duran. My favourite colour is purple. I am studying pre med at NYU. I love to watch my mother's old surgery tapes. I had pink hair in high school." I look in Derek and he looks amused about that admission. "Really you had pink hair?" He asks. "Yes and I whore a lot of black. I take a sip of my champagne and finish with: "And now I am living with Liam, my seven month old son." I just look at Derek waiting for a reply or for him to stand up and leave. Right as Derek wants to open his mouth to say something. The waiter comes back with our meals. And pours us a glass of wine. "Enjoy your meals" the waiter says and walks away.

I am getting nervous about Derek's answer. He opens his mouth again. "You have a son?" He asks. "Yes his name is Liam and is 7 months old." I say and all Derek can say is: "How." "I had unprotected sex in high school and I got pregnant, Derek you are a doctor do I need to explain where babies come from." I say annoyed. And I take a bite of my food. "No, I know where babies come from, I didn't mean it like that how do you raise a baby while going to pre med? I mean pre med is hard enough as is." He says. I can see him looking at me in awe. "It wasn't easy being pregnant going to school and have a side job. But my mom really helped me out with some money issues. I worked on the side as an orderly at NYU medical till I couldn't anymore. I stayed on track with al my homework. I went to school till I was in labour I copied al my friends notes while Liam was really little. And NYU had made it possible for me to follow the classes online I just had to repeat the practicums I missed last summer. When Liam was old enough for day care he went there and I went back to school. Last summer I worked my but of at the medical centre to save up money so I could focus on school and Liam during term time." I say getting less annoyed as I look at Derek, he is speechless all he can say is: "wow." For a moment we just eat in silence and than he asks: "Where did you find the time to go out at all?" I can see in his eyes he isn't mocking me. "To be honest when I met you that was the first time I went out since I found out is was pregnant except for prom. Liam had his first sleepover at his grandparents" I say. "Are they watching him now ass well?" he asks taking a sip of his wine. "No, Izzie is watching she is one of my friends." I take another bite and a sip of wine.

"I just wanted to let you know that I come in a package. You need to know what you are getting yourself into. And if you don't want to go I can understand that, but than I will say goodbye right now and won't see you again." I say while I can feel a tear rolling down my cheek. I just looked at Derek and Derek looked at me he reached over the table to wipe the tear of my cheek and started. "Oh Mer, can I can you Mer?" he asks and I just nod he keeps caressing my cheek with his hand. "Mer, from the moment I laid eyes on you I was captivated by your smile and your giggle and than I found out you were 19 and I didn't care, I knew that I had to get to know you. You amaze me and now you are telling me you are raising a son and going to pre med that amazes me even more. You are a very strong woman and I would be crazy if would walk away now. Because every time I knew I was going to see you over the last week it made me very happy." He says while he is looking me in the eyes and I know that he means it. And I start to smile again. "See there is the smile I was talking about." He says now smiling as well. "No more tears oke, I am not going anywhere." I nod. He still has his hand on my cheek and pulls me forward a little and kisses me soft. "Thank you, I needed that" I mumble against his lips. "No problem." He says winking and taking a bite of his food and we finish eating.

When we are finished Derek asks: "Can I see a picture of Liam?" "Sure." I say while fishing my phone out of my handbag. I open the phone and see the time it was ten o'clock already. I quickly searched for a good picture of Liam to show Derek. It was a picture of Liam sitting in the living room playing with a toy and looking straight in the camera. And I begin to smile even brightly and I turn the phone to Derek. He takes the phone out of my hand and looks at Liam and back to me and back to Liam. "He looks cute and he has got your nose. You must be very proud of him." He says. "I am very proud of him. He is a very good sport." I say proudly. And than I ask: "Are we going to have dessert?" "I am sort of a health nut so normally I don't do dessert but I can make an exception if you want to split the chocolate cake." He says. And I just snort "Don't tell me you are the kind of guy who eats muesli for breakfast." Derek fakes being hurt. "I will spilt the cake with you only if you feed me." I say winking. "Oke, deal" he says smirking. The waiter comes and takes the plates away and Derek orders the cake.

"How is it to grow up with 4 sisters are you the oldest? I ask trying to turn the conversation back to him. Derek just laughs and than says: "It was horrible, I was smack dab in the middle and always surrounded by girls I can not count the times on my fingers that I had to play dress up in a dress and they had to put make up on me. There was always a fight at the table most of the times about clothes and make up or boys. I was lucky that I had Mark most of the time we met in primary school and we became best friends he was always over at my house. But I had the job of scaring all the boys away from my sisters that was fun." "I wonder what your sisters thought about that." I say giggling. "Oh trust me they where not happy about that I remember on night, Lizzie was out on a date and mom and dad where not home I stayed up late waiting on the porch for her in the dark and then when she came home and the boy wanted to kiss her goodnight I cleared my throat and walked up to them and said you are late Lizzie go back in side. The poor boy was scared to death and I don't think I ever saw him again. I think Lizzie didn't speak to me for a week." He says with a smirk on his face.

The waiter comes back with the cake Derek reaches for the cake and grabs the fork and hovers in front of my mouth as I try to take a bite he pulls the fork away and takes a bite himself. "Hey, I thought that was mine" I pout. "Sorry darling I needed to make sure that there was no poison in here." He says with a sparkle in his eyes. And than he gets another piece on his fork and offers it again. "mmmmmhhhhhmmmm." I purr while the chocolate melts in my mouth. "That is so good!" we eat in silence. And when Derek gives me the last piece of cake I purr again I think I am in heaven. "There is something on your face." Derek says and as I try to reach for my napkin he says: "No, I get it." He leans forward and kisses me on the side of my mouth. "Got it." He says and kisses me again. He is sucking on my lip but he is not asking for entrance. "Let's get out of here let me grab the check and than we will go." "Good idea" I reply. Derek stands up to get the check and I walk over to the bathroom. I quickly send Izzie a text if everything is going allright. She replies. "Everything is fine go have some fun!" I apply some new lipstick and go back out to Derek. He is waiting for me at the bar. "Ready to go?" he asks. "Yes, ready to go," I reply and he grabs my hand and we walk out to the street.

"So do I need to take you home?" He asks while he turns to me and holds me close. "There is no chance you are going to feel me up at home because Izzie is there and I am so not ready for Liam to meet you so no don't take me home." I say. He pecks my lips and says. "Your wish I my command." And kissing me again this time I can feel his tongue at my lips asking for entrance and I grand him that. My hands go up into his hair and we kiss. "Oke let's go!" he says stopping a cab and getting in. I can feel the wine and the champagne. I just lean against Derek in the cab just like when he brought me home last time. It was a short drive to his apartment. He opens the door end let's me in.

"So I ticked of the flowers and the romance, now I just need to feel you up." He says walking over to me. He is flashing his Mcdreamy smile and I get weak in the knees. He grabs my middle pulls me closer and he kisses me hard. One hand goes to my hair as the other one travels over my back. My hands go to his hair again. I like his hair.

We both fight for control and I can feel his hand go down to my butt. And we are walking backwards I hear a door opening and we keep walking backwards and I know where this is going and I start to get nervous. Derek feels the change in me and stops. "What's wrong?" He asks while tucking a hair behind my ear. "Nothing I am fine." I say but Derek doesn't believe me. "Mer, your whole body just changed something is clearly wrong." He says. "I … I … I think I am not ready for this." I say while looking at the floor I don't want to look him in the eye. "Hey, look at me. Mer, look at me." He says and I lift up my head. "It's alright. We will take it your pace." He says looking me in the eye. "You are not mad?" I ask insecure. "Why would I be mad?" Derek replies, raising his eyebrow. "Because I am not ready for sex." I say. "No of course not, if it is just kissing and feeling you up that is fine too. We will take it at your pace. Do you want me to take you home?" I think while looking at him. And than I reply "No I don't want to go home. Can you just hold me and we can go to sleep?" I ask. "Sure come on. I will give you something comfortable." He says walking over to his dresser and pulling out a t-shirt. "Here put this on. The bathroom is over there is you want to change in there." He says handing over the t-shirt and pulling me closer and kisses me soft.

I walk into the bathroom and I close the door. "Really clever Meredith, good job." I mutter to myself. I get out of my dress and bra and pull on the t-shirt that is way to big but it smells like Derek. I open the door and want to walk back into the room. I am greeted by Derek who is standing with his back to me only in his underwear he is looking gorgeous. "Oh" I say. At the sound of my voice he turns around. And I can see his toned chest. "See you look beautiful in everything you wear even in my t-shirt." He says while pulling a t-shirt over his head. I blush. He sits on the side of the bed and lies down. "Come on I won't bite." He says laughing. I start to giggle and walk over to the other side of the bed and get under the covers. Derek pulls me flush against his body says: "I promise no sex just feeling you up." "Oke, I trust you." I kiss him, one hand goes into his hair and one goes down his t-shirt at the back. This time I am asking him for entrance and he happily open his mouth. One hand goes in my hair and the other on sneaks under my t-shirt. We kiss for a while and than Derek pulls away. "Mer, I need to stop." He says. "Oke." I say I snuggle right in to him in the crook of his neck. And I fall asleep.

I wake up feeling that somebody is staring at me. I open my eyes and I can see Derek laying on his side with his hand under his head. "Good morning" He says giving me a peck on the lips. "Hmm good morning." I reply. And kiss him. And than my phone starts ringing. I reach over to pick it up. "Hi" I say into the phone not looking at the number. "Hi Mer, sorry to call you. But your mother showed up and is asking for you." Izzie says. And at that moment I am wide-awake. "Shit, I am sorry I will be right there. Thanks Iz. I say into the phone and than I turn to Derek. "I need to go, sorry." I say. "Is something wrong with Liam." Derek asks. "No nothing is wrong with Liam." My heart melts that he is worried about him. "I forgot that my mother was coming over this weekend and she at my apartment and I am not there. This is so not good." I say while running over to the bathroom throwing on my clothes. Derek offers me a sweatshirt that I happily take. I almost run past him on my way out of the door but he grabs me and pulls me close for a kiss. 'Thanks for yesterday. I will call you later. Bye" I say giving him a quick peck on the lips and than I am out the door.


	10. Facing My Mother

Chapter 10 Facing my mother

Izzie's POV

I wake up from the sound of a crying baby, for a moment I don't know where I am. I am in an unfamiliar bed and then I remember. I was watching Liam so Meredith could go out with Derek. Liam had been quiet the whole night and all I did was watching movies. Liam was awake and probably hungry. I quickly put some clothes on and I turn the monitor off and walk over to his room I open the door and walk inside. "Oh Liam it smells disgusting in here! Do you have a dirty nappy?" I say trying not to gag. The smell gets stronger the closer I come to Liam. Liam just looks at me but he doesn't stop crying he keeps looking around for Meredith. "Sorry buddy mommy is not home yet." I say to him and pick him up and walk over to the changing table. Pulling out a clean nappy and the wipes. I take off his jammies and open his nappy. "Jeez Liam you stink." I say while wiping him clean. I pull a face at him and he starts to giggle. Placing the clean nappy under his bottom it is a bit hard because he starts to kick his feet. I manage to get him dressed and than it is time for breakfast. I walk to the kitchen with Liam on my arm and I see a note on the counter:

Hi Iz,

Thanks again for watching my little trooper.

I hope he wasn't a pain in the butt last night?

I really was going to come home tonight but apparently things went better than I could imagine!

So you can just give Liam some cereal, just put it on his tray he will eat it. Also give him a peace of banana but be careful he likes to make a mess with those.

And please give him a bottle of milk.

I prepped one for you in the fridge you just have to warm it up.

I will be home as soon as I can.

Give Liam a kiss from me!

Thanks, you are the best!

Mer.

I smile while I read it. And I sit Liam down in his high chair. And pull out his cereal and put it on his tray as soon as there is some on there he reaches out for it and starts to eat. I giggle while trying to putt on a bib because Liam is just shoving the cereal in his mouth. Getting the prepped bottle out of the fridge and putting it in the warmer and press the start button. Reaching for a bowl to get some cereal for my self I pour some milk over it. Reach for the banana and sit down next to Liam at the table. As soon as I sit down Liam is eying the banana. He starts to point at it and says. "di na di na" "Do you want the banana?" I ask and again he says "Di na" I open up the banana and break off a little peace and put it on his tray. He happily shoves it in his mouth just like his cereal. And he asks for another piece. I give it piece by piece so he cannot make a mess. And I eat my cereal.

When he is finished I can hear the little beep of the bottle warmer. I grab the bottle. Grab Liam out of the high chair and walk over to the couch and feed him his bottle. I can see his eyes searching for Meredith. "Don't worry buddy, mommy is coming home." He finishes his bottle and he starts to wiggle in my arms. I put him down on the floor and I think he starts to crawl over to his toys but instead he crawls back towards the bedrooms. I didn't close the baby gate yet so he crawls over it and goes on. I am just curious where he is going. He crawls all the way to Meredith's bedroom, he crawls around the bed but Meredith is nowhere to be found. Than he sits up and starts to cry. I scoop him of the floor and try to calm him down but it is not working.

I walk back into the living room and I hear the front door open. "Look Liam, Mommy is home." He looks in the direction of the door still tears streaming down his face. And than I hear a voice say: "Meredith I am here." That is not Meredith I think! And than Ellis is in front of me she is looking from me to a crying Liam. "Your are not Meredith. Who are you?" She says in a cold voice. "Hi I am Izzie, nice to meet you doctor Grey." I say while walking closer to her.

Liam quiets down with the sight of his grandmother and reaches out for her and she takes him into her arms. "What are you doing here? Where is Meredith?" she asks. "I am watching Liam, Meredith had a night out." I say and I look at Ellis. It was the wrong thing to say. "She has a night out!" she screams, I can see Liam flinch at the outburst. "You have got to be kidding me. I pay for all here expenses and she is not even here when I visit she leaves her baby and has a night out doing god knows what!" she screams. Liam starts to cry again. Ellis looks at Liam and rubs his back trying to sooth him and talking to him in a much nicer voice, "Sorry sweetheart, it is all right grandma is just a tat angry at mommy." Than she turns her attention back to me. "You can go, I have everything under control here." I know better than to cross Ellis Grey if the stories of Meredith are true. So I just turn around to grab my bag and wave bye to Liam and I walk out the door. As soon as I am out of the door I call Meredith. After the call I decide to wait for her outside.

Meredith's POV

I almost run past him on my way out of the door but he grabs me and pulls me close for a kiss. 'Thanks for yesterday. I will call you later. Bye" I say giving him a quick peck on the lips and than I am out the door.

When I come outside I come to the realisation that I have no idea where I am and where the nearest subway is. I pull out my phone and have a quick look in Google maps. Great the subway is just a block away. And I walk as quick as I can on my heels. When I sit down in the subway I feel like crying. How did I forget that my mother was coming from Boston this weekend? She is going to kill me! Why didn't I just go home! But than I think of Derek and how nice it was to fall asleep in his arms. And I start to smile. I hear my phone ringing and I look at the caller ID and see it is my mother I decide to ignore it I will talk to here when I get home. And I think again how can I be so stupid. I get of the subway and I drag myself to my apartment.

As I turn the corner I can see Izzie sitting outside on the steps. "I am so sorry Iz, I completely forgot that is was coming today" I say to her when I reach her. She looks up and says. "No worries, just to warn you she is not very happy with you at the moment." Izzie says. "I can imagine." I say with a sigh. "Thanks again Izzie." I say while pulling her into a hug. "No problem I want to know all about you date with mcdreamy later. Bye Mer good luck with your mother." She says and walks away.

I look up at the building and go inside. In front of my front door I take a few deep big breathes before I open up the door and say. "Hi Mom, I am home." And all I hear is: "Meredith Elizabeth Grey get in here right know!" in a very cold voice and I flinch and think. Oh oh I am in trouble old Ellis is back. This was the tone she used all the time before I was pregnant and in trouble. I haven't missed it one bit. I pull Derek's sweater over my head. My mother doesn't need to see that and walk into the living room.

Liam is half way down to the living room when I step into the room and I crouch down and say: "Hi Liam, I missed you come here give mommy a kiss." I am trying to ignore the icy look from my mother and scoop Liam of the floor to cuddle him giving him kisses al over his body and he starts to giggle. When he is done he wants to be putt down on the floor again and I know I lost my cover. As he crawls back to his toys I try to change the subject because I know my mother wants to talk about where I was. "Did you know he started crawling this week?" "Cut the crap Meredith you told me that over the phone last time we called." My mother says with a very stern look on her face she is tapping one foot on the floor. She is waiting for my answer.

"Uhmmm." I start saying. My mother cuts me off. "Surgeons don't say uhm Meredith if you want to become one start acting like one." She says. "Oh you mean cold and with no heart like you?" I ask her I was getting pissed. "That is uncalled for Meredith!" she almost screams in anger. I can see Liam looking up from his toys when my mother raises her voice. I can almost see the tears in his eyes. "Mom please don't shout in front of Liam you are scaring him." I say. "Oh know you care about your son, but yesterday you left him in some teenagers hands and went out doing god knows what. I thought you learnt from your mistakes." She replies and that is when I was getting really angry with her I was seeing red. "Don't tell me I don't care about my son. I left him with a very good friend that Liam knows. And I trust her with him. And I deserved a night out because all I have been doing for the last year is caring for Liam. I didn't have any time for myself. And Finn was definitely not a mistake." I yell.

"Well look what it let to!" My mother says pointing at Liam who was crying now. I walk over to him scoop him up and try to sooth him. "Liam was never a mistake. He was an accident because the freaking condom broke but he was never a mistake!" I yell again being furious at my mother calling him a mistake. "And if you would like to know I did not jump in to bed last night with a random guy. I had a very nice date with a very cute guy and when I told him I wasn't ready for sex he was oke with it and he just held me and we went to sleep! So I did learn from my mistake of having sex to early yes. But again Liam was not a mistake." I yell. "Now if you could excuse me I am going to change Liam's nappy and try to calm him down because all this screaming is making him scared." I say while walking down the hall way towards his room I can her my mother say before I close the door: "This conversation is not over yet Meredith." But I ignore it and walk over to the changing table. Liam keeps crying while I change his nappy. Afterward I walk over to the rocking chair and try to calm him down.

"Mommy is sorry she yelled at grandma but she was making me really angry and calling you a mistake but Liam I can promise you that you where not a mistake. It was a big shock when we found out about you, but you were never ever a mistake and mommy and daddy love you very much. Even if your daddy is not here anymore he was really excited to be your daddy." While rocking him he was starting to calm down. "Oke Liam do you want to go outside? We can go to the park." I ask him. I am wondering what my mother is doing and of she is still mad at me. I open the door and look down the hallway but she is nowhere to be seen. I walk into the living room and see her sitting on the couch. "Hi mom I was going to take Liam for a walk do you want to go with us? I say softly. I just hope she will not start screaming again. "I will go with you Meredith we still need to talk." She answers. "Mom I know we need to talk but can we please do it when Liam is asleep?" I ask while putting Liam's jacket on and placing him in the stroller. "Can you keep an eye on him while I get him something to drink and some snacks.

We take the subway to central park. I walk in silence besides my mother not sure what to say to her. Liam starts to babble to his drink bottle. I still don't understand what is going trough his head when he is babbling lots of non-existing words. Not really words just syllables. I look over to my mom and see she is just watching him. Than she starts. "When did he start to babble like that is noticed it this morning when he was playing with his toys, I knew he was making sounds but know it looks like he is telling stories." She says with a genuine smile on her face. "I think it was after he started crawling he really started to babble like that it is nice to hear him do that. It feels like I am not alone all the time. He is making noise al the time now instead of the crying that was driving me insane sometimes." I say while looking at my mother. As we reach the playground in central park I pick Liam up out of the stroller and walk over to the babyswings I place him in the basket and start pushing giggles and screams in delight.

As I keep pushing him my mother stands next to me. "Meredith are you happy?" she asks. "Yes mom I am happy. Liam and I have a good routine he is a happy baby. I am keeping up with al my schoolwork. Liam is my priority at the moment." I say hoping not to offend her. "I know Liam is your priority, and I am very proud of you that you are juggling everything but do you have time for yourself at all? You were not as happy as I saw you with Finn." She says. I am quit surprised with her admission because of her outburst this morning. "Mom." I start while giving Liam another push. "Getting time for myself is not easy but Liam is getting a little bit older and I feel better with leaving him with other people while going out to have time for myself. Matt and Kathrin are watching him every other Saturday and he stays overnight. And I pick him up on Sunday. So I get more time for myself a little. That is also why I left Liam with Izzie last night." I say.

"So you went on a date yesterday?" she asks and she seems genuine interested. "Yes I was, I met him last Saturday while going out, than we met for coffee on Monday. And we went for diner yesterday. I really like him." I tell her. "Does he know about Liam?" she asks. "I told him yesterday that I came in a package with Liam and if he didn't want that I would end it right then and there. But he said he was not going anywhere. That made me really happy." I say with a smile on my face. I see a surprised look on my mothers face. "That is very mature of him, as long as he makes you happy." She says while giving me a hug. "He does make me happy, Mom." I say. "I am sorry I yelled this morning. I just didn't want you to end up pregnant for the second time while you are still in college. I failed you in high school and I didn't want to fail you now, but I get the feeling you got it al figured out on your one." She says.

Liam is done with the swing by know and wants to get out. I lay out the plaid on the grass and set him down on it. Before I can give him some toys he starts to crawl to the edge of the plaid and wants to go on the grass. But as soon as he puts his hands on the grass he stops and turns around. "Looks like he is not a fan off the grass." I say giggling. My mother laughs as well. "At least I don't have to watch him like a hawk that he doesn't crawl away." I say relieved. "Meredith" my mother says with a serious look on her face. I look up from watching Liam. "They offered me a job as chief of general surgery when uncle Richard will take over the current chief of surgery at NYU Medical." She says. "Mom why would you leave Mass gen where you already are the chief of general, you love it there?" I ask surprised. "I don't want to miss to much of Liam's life." She says. "Mom, you are coming every month sometimes even two times a month you see a lot of him." I say trying to change her mind because I am not sure if I want her to move to New York. "I know I wasn't there for you when you grew up. But with Liam this feels like sort of a second chance." She says while looking in awe at Liam. I feel horrible about not wanting her here, but I like it that she wants to be there for him so I say: "Liam would love to have his grandma around." And then my mind goes to Derek, well that would be fun her mother working with Derek in the same hospital. I was already feeling sorry for him. "Great, I will talk to the chief tomorrow than." She says.


	11. Ferryboat

**AN: Hey guys! I know it has been a long time! i was stuck on this chapter even though i have some idea where i want the story to go. So i finally got it finished today! I have some more chapters writting already just needs some adjustments and finishing touches. I hope you still enjoy the story :) **

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Chapter 11 Ferryboat

It was Monday afternoon after class I was walking down the stairs of the university when I saw Derek waiting for me on the street. He has been calling me since I ran out on Saturday morning but with my mother in town and dropping the bomb on me of her taking a job at NYU Medical, I just didn't feel like talking to anybody at all. It feels like she is taking over my life all over again. I know she wants to be there for Liam I am just not sure how I feel about it.

Just for a second I hope he doesn't see me but he looks up and smiles his dreamy smile at me, eyes are sparkling. I feel my knees weakening already. He pulls me in for a hug. "Hi." He whispers in my ear. "I have been trying to call you al weekend. Are you avoiding me?" He goes on still holding me close. "No, I have not been avoiding you, just been busy with my mom and stuff." He pulls back a little bit and tries to look me in the eye but I stare at the ground because I know that when I look into his eyes he will see right trough me. "Meredith, are you oke?" he asks I can hear the concern in his voice. "I am fine, Derek." I say trying to sound convincing. "Than why can't you look at me." He says and my head shuts up. "I am fine." I say pleading silently with me eyes for him to let it go. "Right oke, I was wondering if you have time for me to show you something." He says but I know he will come back to it later. "I was actually on my way to pick up Liam and spent some time with him. My mother was hogging him all weekend." I say. "He can come along as well I won't mind." Derek chimes in. "Derek." I sigh. "To early?" He says and I just knot. He looks a bit disappointed but doesn't press on it. "I just want to spent some time with you." He says. "Derek, I know that. I am just not ready for you to meet him but I have some time tomorrow, Liam goes to his grandma for the day so I don't have to leave him in daycare." I say hoping he will understand. "I have to work tomorrow." He sighs. "Crap, that sucks." I say feeling guilty. "I have an early class on Wednesday so we can do something afterwards." I say hopeful. He looks happy again. "I can make that work." He says. "Do you want to walk with me?" I ask not wanting him to leave actually. "Yes sure, which way are we going?" He asks. I point in the right direction. He starts to walk but I reach for his hand and pull him close. "I am all for the hugging but I would love to have a proper greeting." I say with a smirk on my face. I lean forward and kiss him. I can feel him smiling. "Is that better?" he asks smirking when we are done. "Yes much better." I giggle. He grabs my hand and we start walking. My hands are fitting perfectly in his bigger ones. "I am sorry I didn't answer my phone. It is just that my mother was around and that didn't make things easier." I say. "I am not mad at you I was just worried, you left in such a hurry on Saturday morning and I wanted to know if you were alright." He says. "Did you do anything after I left?" I ask trying to change the subject again. "Well after you ran out on me, I had breakfast alone instead of with you.'' He says winking. "Derek, eating muesli is not something I would have enjoyed." I say trying to tease me. "Good thing I didn't eat muesli than I made blueberry pancakes with maple syrup." He says. "You are a health nut why are you eating pancakes for breakfast?" I ask surprised. "Mom used to make pancakes on Saturday morning, so I think is more like a habit. Every time I have off on Saturday I am making pancakes." He says laughing. "Well I am looking forward to have breakfast with you on a Saturday than." I wink at him. "After breakfast I prepared to go to work." He says. "Ugh work, did something interesting happen?" I ask. "I did actually, there was a bad car crash on the freeway so we where all assigned to the pitt there where multiple victims but I was a little distracted. And my chief resident noticed and put me on scut." He says letting out a laugh at the end. "Apparently you can be placed on scut even if you are not an intern anymore." He sighs. "Why were you distracted?" I ask and he is looking at me like I know already the answer to that question. "This happened on Sunday morning and you didn't answer my calls, I was worried." He says with a tiny smile. "Sorry." I just mumble. "Don't worry I learned my lesson, doing scut as an intern isn't fun but as a resident it really sucks I missed out on really good surgery." He says looking sad. "Oh Derek, I am really sorry I will answer my phone in the future." I say feeling really guilty at the moment. His sad face turns into a smirk and I say while hitting him on the arm: "You ass, you try to guilt trip me into picking up the phone next time you call." "Maybe, maybe not." He says smirking again. That earns him another slap. We reached to corner of the street. "The day care is over there." I say while pointing across the street. "Right, that is my cue to leave than. Have fun with Liam." He says while pulling me in for a hug and a kiss on my cheek. "I will and I will see you on Wednesday." I say while hugging him tight. "Bye Meredith." "Bye Derek." I say while he pulls away and I slowly let go of his hand. I wonder how long this is going to last. I know he is patient but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. I try to let it go. If he is worth it he will stick around.

I was lying on the couch on Tuesday night Liam against my chest sucking on his bottle. I was holding the bottle with one hand and I my other my biology book. I was reading out loud to him. Not that he understood a word I was saying but I needed to read the boring chapter for class tomorrow. But my mind get going to the fact that my mother was moving into town and taking a job at the hospital non the less where the man was working whom I was interested in. This was going to suck big time. I was lowering Liam's bottle without even noticing it. But instead of Liam making a fuss because he was not done yet. He pushed up the bottle with two hands. That snapped me from my thinking. "Good job, Liam" I cheered him on. I heard a soft giggle. I let go of the bottle completely and he was keeping it in place. I went back to reading. Liam was content after his bottle and snuggled deeper in to my chest. I was rubbing his back and I could see his eyelids getting heavier. "Sweet dreams, Liam" I say before his eyes fall completely shut. I finish my reading. It was getting harder and harder to keep up with my schoolwork with Liam being mobile and trying to spent time with Derek. Something had to change. And the only option was Derek meeting Liam and preferably before my mother started at the hospital. I needed to warn Derek because he was going to be working with her. I heard the beep from my phone it was a text message from Derek. "Are we still on for tomorrow?" it said. I heard a snore coming from Liam's chest. "Right buddy time to go to bed." I whispered. I tucked him in and I went into the kitchen to clean up dinner I was exhausted.

I was doing the dishes when my phone started ringing. Drying of my hands, I fished my phone out of my back pocket. The caller id said Derek.

"Hi" I said while balancing my phone in between my shoulder and my ear. "Hi, what are you up to?" Derek said. "Well I am washing my dishes at the moment so if you lose contact the phone fell in to the water." I say giggling. "Did you get my text?" Derek asks. "Yes I did get your text, I was busy getting my little one to bed and I was trying to catch up with my homework. But to answer your text I am looking forward to tomorrow. Where do you want to meet?" I say while I hear a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. "I was thinking of meeting outside of the university and we will go from there. At what time does your class finish?" he asks. "12:30" I say as I hear is beeper going off. "Right see you at 12:30, I have to run an in coming trauma, have fun doing your dishes." He says while I hear him jogging down the hallway. "Go save a life Dr. Shepherd." I giggle into the phone.

"Hey Mer, are you coming to the library with to study?" George asks. We are walking out of the lecture hall. "Nope not today. I am meeting Derek." I say. "That is a shame I was hoping you could help me study with bio chem. I have the feeling I am drowning." George says defeated. I felt sorry for George. "If you bring over dinner tonight, we can study together." I say. "Great so will see you around 6:30 pm." George smiles again he gives me a hug. And then walks towards the library.

I walk down the steps and I see Derek leaning against his motorcycle. I saw him searching the steps. It was busy because everybody was on lunch break. I stand still for a moment watching him. I saw a couple of girls stopping and looking at his motorcycle trying to get his attention. I can bet they want a ride from him. I see one of the girls flirting with him. I don't like it at all. Derek says something while he keeps searching for me. He didn't even give the girls a look. When he catches my gaze. He flashes me a full-fledged Mcdreamy smile. When I reach the bottom he pushes away from his motorcycle, and pushes the girls a way. Pulls me in for a kiss and says: "Hi beautiful." My hands go automatically into his hair. Just to claim him as mine. When he pulls away he asks: "Do you wanna go for a ride." Gesturing at his bike. I just knot and Derek reaches out for the extra helmet and put it on my head, tightening the strap. He sat down on the motor and mention for me to sit behind him. I putt my arms around his middle resting my head against his shoulders. Just before Derek starts the engine I say to the girls with a smirk on my face, who were giving me a dirty look like I had stole their man candy away. "Sorry girls, he is already taken."

Derek drives towards the New York Harbour. He parks the motorcycle when he pulls of his helmet I whisper into his ear: "I have a thing for ferryboats." He turns his head around with a big smile on his face. "I have a thing for ferryboats too." He says. I step off the motorcycle and give him the helmet. He takes my hand and we walk towards the ferry terminal. He purchases two tickets. He leads me to the top deck. The sun is out but it is a little bit windy. I stand against the railing looking over the water, just for a moment I am thinking about Finn and Boston. It all fades away when Derek puts his arms around me resting his chin on my shoulder. "What are you thinking about?" He asks. "Just thinking of Boston." I say. "Do you miss Boston?" He asks. "No I don't miss Boston, everything was just so much easier in Boston, life was just less complicated. I was a normal teenager in high school. I just did my homework and went out with my friends. And now I am a mother of a little boy whom I am responsible for. Don't get me wrong I love him to pieces, but sometimes I wish I was still in high school. Do you miss high school?" I say. "No I don't miss high school." He says and I just stare over the water again. We just stand there for a moment. "You want to go back to being the pink haired girl?" Derek chuckles. "Maybe I will lose the pink hair." I say smiling. "I still can't believe I am going out with the pink haired girl from high school." He says grinning I turn around facing I hit him on the chest. "You were probably the jock and very popular" I say. Derek shakes his head. " In high school I was a 110 pounds, I had a large afro because I didn't figure out how the use hair products. I had acne and I wore a band uniform, I played the sax. So I was not a jock and not very popular." He says. "I can't believe I am going out with the band geek." I try to mock him. He fakes being hurt but then lowers his lips to mine. He mumbles: "We are quite the pair, aren't we?" I just respond to him with a kiss. When I pull back I hear the horn of the boat going off we are almost at the destination.

"Come on, let's go grab some lunch." Derek says and leads me off the ferry and we walk to a tiny café. We sit down and order. When the waiter brings us the coffee I ask Derek. "So when did the band geek turn into Mcdreamy?" I ask while I take a sip of my coffee. " After I survived high school I thought everything would get better. I still had the afro and I was still 110 pounds. The acne was a bit better. But still I was the geek and no girl wanted to go out with me. Mark was having the time of his life the first year of college while I was studying in the dorm. So the next summer I started working out and I figured out how to tame my afro. When the second year started I was a completely different Derek on the outside and nobody except mark recognised me." He says while giving me a little smile. I try to picture Derek with an afro and a little bit of acne. But I can't. "Do you have a picture by any change?" I ask. "No I haven't, it is in the past. My mother has loads of pictures tough, just to torture me when I take a girl home." He says and let's out a chuckle. "I can't wait to see those picture's." I giggle. Derek just rolls his eyes. " So why did you have pink hair in high school?" He asks with a smirk on his face. I giggle. "I just had pink hair because my mother hated it. She didn't give me much attention so I guess I just seeked her attention in the wrong way with pink hair and staying out late going to parties. I got home drunk one time thinking my mother was at the hospital but she was in the kitchen when I stumbled in because I couldn't walk straight anymore. I was in so much trouble that she made me come to the hospital for a month after school and on the weekend to do my homework and help the nurses with clean up. On a Saturday she made me come in with her at 4:30 in the morning she send me to the ER when she heard there were some very drunken girls they puked all over the ER and she made me clean it up. I was disgusted. I learned my lesson. I still went to parties I still drunk but not that much. And I made sure my mother didn't catch me." Derek was just looking at me. "How old were you?" He asks. I am looking down at my fingers I felt my cheeks redden. "Sixteen." I mumble. "I didn't have the best childhood." Derek takes my hand that causes me to look up at him. He is looking at me with is blue eyes. "You didn't have the best childhood but you turned out really great." He says. I feel my cheeks get red. "I am glad you figured out how to use hair products." I giggle. "Because I wouldn't want to date someone who looks a band geek." I say with a smirk on my face. Derek lets out a chuckle. "Come on let's go." Derek says when he paid. We walk back to the ferry.

It is not busy on the ferry at all. We sit on the upper deck. When the ferry leaves the dock Derek pulls me on to his lap. I lay my head in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around me. And he kisses the top of my head. We sit like this for a while. "Der." I say. "Hmm" I hear him say. "You don't mind the waiting?" I ask. "Waiting for what?" He says. I pull back a little so I can look at him. "To be intimate." I ask scared of the answer. "You are sitting on my lap, don't you think that is intimate." He says. "Derek, that is so not what I meant." I say hiding my face in his neck. "You are adorable." He says stroking my cheek. He puts his finger under my chin that forces me to look up at him and before I know it his lips cover mine. He sucks on my bottom lip. I open a little being surprised by his move. As I open my mouth I feel his tongue slip into my mouth. He kisses my gentle with no urge for anything else behind it. When he pulls away he says: "I am oke with waiting, we are doing this your pace remember." I see a reassuring smile on his face.


	12. Meeting Liam

**AN: hey guys. I hope everybody had a great christmas :) I decided to split this chapter in 2 chapters. So here you go!**

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Chapter 12 Meeting Liam

I was nervously pacing up and down the living room. It had been 4 weeks since I started seeing Derek. It had been 4 wonderful weeks with dates to get to know each other and sleepovers at his place but still no sex. I hadn't dared yet to bring him over to my apartment. Still having a gut feeling that he would leave as soon as he would meet Liam. Every time we had met he had asked about Liam. Last week I finally had the courage to ask him over for dinner.

_It was Sunday morning Derek was standing at the stove making me breakfast. He was flipping a pancake. I was biting my nails sitting at the table. I saw Derek looking in my direction. "Just spit it out Mer." He says. "How do you know I have something to say?" I say. "Well for one you have been staring at me for the last 5 minutes, not that I don't like the staring. Two, you are nervous because you are biting your nails. You always do that when you are nervous. And three, you have been tossing and turning all night." He says looking me straight in the eye. "You know me to well, watch that pancake." I say. Derek flips the pancake. I take a big breath. " So I was thinking, but it is oke if you don't want to because I know it is a big thing and that it might be getting real and I am still scared that you don't want to. I have been dreading this for weeks. And I really like you but as you know I come in a package. And I have Liam next weekend so that would mean I won't see you for two weeks and I don't want that. So do you want to come over for dinner on Saturday." I finish my ramble. I look at Derek. He slides the last pancake on a plate pours over some syrup. Picks up the plate, walks over to me. He places the plate in front of me and kisses my forehead. He sits down and than he says: " I would love to come over for dinner on Saturday." I let my breath go not even noticing I was holding it in. "You would?" I ask unsure if I heard him right. "Yes" He says while cutting a peace of the pancake and holding it in front of me. I take the bite. "You know you are adorable when you ramble." He says. "I didn't ramble." I pout. "I beg to differ." He says with a smirk on his face. "So what would be a good time for Saturday?" He asks. "5ish." I say. "Good I will be there at 5 then." He says while giving me a kiss on my cheek. _

But I was freaking out. After I had finished grocery shopping I had cleaned to whole apartment twice to make sure it was ready for Derek. Afterwards I think I changed my outfit 4 times. I finally settled on a pair of skinny jeans a low cut top and a cardigan. Liam watched me with curious eyes while I pilled out outfit after outfit on the bed where he was playing. He giggled when I threw a t-shirt on the bed and it landed on his head. Now I was standing in the middle of the living room the only things that were lying on the floor were Liam's teddy bear and the big car that grandma gave him last week. I looked around the room to check it one more time Derek could arrive any moment now. I needed to calm my nerves so I scooped Liam of the floor and walked over to the bookshelf. Liam was reaching out for one of the books and I grabbed the book. The book is called: "The very noisy bear." This book was one of his favourites at the moment I think at this point I was reading it more than twice a day now. His collection had definitely grown since Matt and Kathrin had moved to New York. I settled on the couch and started reading.

_In the jingle jangle jungle, there was music in the air_

_And it landed in the ears of a very sleepy bear_

_Excuses me said the bear to the music making sheep._

_Your band is very noisy and it is time for me to sleep._

_Now that you are awake said sheep perhaps you'd like to stay_

_Did you try the jingle drums they are really fun to play._

_Lion was on the jungle drums and bear began to smile._

_I supposed I could to play the drums I'd stay a little way._

_He sat upon the tiny stool_

_BOOM BANG BASH BOOM went the noisy bear._

_BOOM BANG CRASH._

Liam giggled in my arms.

_It's harder than it looks said lion_

_To play the jungle drum_

_You might prefer a instrument you only have to strum._

I hear the doorbell ring and Liam looks up at me. "Right buddy time to face the music." He looks at me with curious eyes as we walk over to the door. I take a deep breath and open the door. Liam hides his face in the crook of my neck, and his had goes down my shirt touching my boob, when he sees Derek on the other side of the door. I already regret the choice of a low cut t-shirt. He has his good-looking red shirt on and a pair of jeans. And he holds a bottle of wine in one hand and in the other he holding a little bear. "Hi" He says flashing his mcdreamy smile. "Hi, come in. Welcome to my home." I say. Derek steps forward and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Liam is still hiding his face in my neck. "So this is Liam?" he asks. "Yes this is Liam, Liam can you wave to Derek?" I ask him but he isn't moving. "Sorry, he isn't normally like this." I say to Derek while we walk into the living room. "It's fine, it is always scary to meet somebody new." Derek shrugged. "I am sure he will be warming up to you soon, he is a very social baby." I say while placing him down on the floor next to his toy. He let out a faint cry. "Oh hush Liam, mommy will be right here." I say.

Derek is standing in the middle of the room looking around. Still holding the bottle of wine and the bear. "Let me get that of your hands" I say while reaching for the bottle of wine. It looked like a fine bottle of wine. I walked into the kitchen reaching for the glasses. As is put them on the counter I feel two arms around my waist turning me around. Placing a soft kiss on my lips. Sucking on my lip. When he lets go he says: "You don't have to be nervous Mer, I am not going anywhere." "I am not nervous." I answer looking at the floor. "Than why can't you look at me." He says. I look up with tears in my eyes and say: " I just haven't done this before, bringing a guy home to meet Liam and I have this gut feeling that you will leave after tonight." "Oh Mer, you need some more confidence, how many times do I have to tell you I am not going anywhere. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to meet Liam." He says while stroking my cheeks and whipping away my tears. "So no more tears. Relax and enjoy it." He pulls me in for a big hug as I look over his shoulder I can see Liam crawl in to the kitchen. He is pulling the little bear along that Derek came in with. I have no idea where he got it from but is suppose Derek put in on the floor for him. He waves it like a big price. I step away from Derek and scoop him up. He points the bear at Derek and babbles "Di ba". "Did Derek get you a new bear?" I ask. He keeps pointing the bear at Derek. Derek steps closer and says: "That is for you Liam, you can have it." It earns a giggle from Liam and I know that he is warming up to Derek. He hugs the bear close and starts to wiggle and I put him on the floor again. And he is off again.

"So do we need anything to do for diner?" Derek asks. "No I made lasagne this afternoon so I just have to heat it up. " I say while pouring the wine into the glasses. "So you can cook." He says with a smirk on his face. "Of course I can." I say while hitting him on his chest. "Than why did you burn the pancakes the first time that you made me breakfast?" "It was a new kitchen for me and you where kind of distracting me mister." I say giggling. "It was good distracting, wasn't it?" lifting his eyebrows up and down. I just laugh. I just give him a glass of wine. Out of the corner of my eye I see Liam crawling back into the living room. I mention to Derek to follow him as I grab some chips out of the cupboard and follow them closing the gate behind me.

It feels good to have Derek over. Derek puts his glass on one the side table. And instead of going to sit on the couch like I expected him to, he sits on the floor right next to Liam who is playing with the truck. Liam doesn't even notice till he hits Derek's leg with the truck. He looks up with big eyes at Derek. Derek has a big smile on his face and says: "Crash." Liam just looks at him for a moment and than when he sits up I expect him to cry but he picks up the truck and places it on Derek's legs and starts pushing it. It truck falls off his legs to the other side. Liam climbs over his legs. Just as he is in the middle. Derek starts to tickle him on his back. That earns a giggle. And he slides off reaching the truck and goes on playing.

I sit down next to Derek. "You are good with children." I say while laying my head on his shoulders. "I have 2 nieces and a nephew, remember?" He says. "Oh yeah I forgot about your big family." I giggle. "Who old are they?" I ask. "Lilly is 5 and belongs to my oldest sister Nancy. Than we have Katie who is 3 and belongs to Kathleen. And at last we have Michael who just turned 1 last week and belongs to Lizzie. Oh and Nancy is currently pregnant with twins." He sums up his nieces and nephew. "Michael is not that much older than Liam than. I will remember that next time he has dirty nappy and you are around." I just say and giggle. "uhmm o no I don't think we are there yet." He teases me. "When is Nancy due?" changing the subject. "In 4 months, but she is huge already." Derek says.

"Derek Christopher did you just call your pregnant sister fat? You don't call pregnant woman fat." I exclaim. "I didn't call her fat." He stutters. "I just mean she is very tiny and having two babies in there she is just looks the same as she did when she gave birth to Lilly." I looked at him sternly. "I will never call a pregnant woman fat, I promise" He says. "Good save there, I thought you were digging yourself a hole there." Just laughing from the face he made when I accused him. "Oh, I will get you for that." He says and he starts to tickle me. I shriek and my head falls back against the couch, I try to role away from him but he pins me down and doesn't stop till I bag for mercy. I gasp for air and yell laughing, "Stop, please." He stops and I look into his eye's they look playful. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to kiss him. Just as he tries to deepen the kiss, Liam crushes his truck against his leg and babbles "Ma di basa lombo" shaking his head while saying that. "Hhhmmm, I don't think Liam likes that I am kissing his mommy." Derek says. I giggle and say. "Well he just needs to learn how to share me." Giving him a quick peck on the lips before sitting up straight. I look at the clock and ask: "Liam are you hungry?" Liam looks up and than makes a turn to the kitchen. "I guess that is a yes." I say while standing up and I open up the gate for him.

I grab the mashed potatoes and the other half of the can of babyfood out of fridge from yesterday. And put it in the microwave. Liam is already at his chair. I see Derek walk behind him and he reaches for the floor and scoops him up. He giggles loudly with the height elevation. And he puts him in the chair and straps him in. Liam is throwing a fit and Derek is just looking at me. "I don't strap him in only when I tries to get out of the chair when we are not done with dinner yet." I say. Derek unclips the straps and Liam calms down. I put a sippy cup with water on his tray and he starts to drink. "Can you grab my wine and the chips form the table?" I ask. The microwave beeps and I grab the food. Putting on his bib I say: "Oke, let's be on our best behaviour and eat not like an animal." He just looks at me with his cheeky grin and I just hope for the best as I sit down in the chair next to him.

Derek walks back in with my wine and chips. I reach into the bowl when he passes me. At the same time I give Liam a spoonful of mashed potatoes. "I see you can multi task." He says. "One of my many talent's" I mumble with my mouth full. Liam watches me and when I put the next spoonful in his mouth he starts to babble. But he doesn't keep his food in his mouth like I did. Some lands on his tray and the rest ends on my pants. "Well that back fired" Derek says laughing out loud. "Oh shut up!" I hiss. "Shu Shu" Liam babbles and I groan. "Great just great." "Liam no, no talking while you have food in your mouth." I look sternly at him. He just looks at me with eyes that say, but mommy you did it too. "Yes I know mommy did it too but my food didn't go all over the floor and on Derek's pants." I say and I can hear Derek snort from behind me. I give Liam another bite and he just swallows it. "See you can be a good boy." I smile at him. I feed him the rest off his diner. Derek just sits at the table and is looking at me. After he is finished eating we play with him for a little while and than it is time for bed. "I have some stuff for a salad in the fridge can you start that while I get the little trouble maker into bed?" I ask Derek as I scoop Liam of the floor. "Sure I can as you already cooked dinner." He says winking. "Liam can you say night night to Derek?" He waves and keeps babbling. I walk into his room and quickly change him into his jammies. Read a quick story and put him in is crib. He grabs his dummy and his teddy bear and hugs it close. "Night, night Liam." I say I give him a kiss on top of his head turn on the monitor and turn off the light.

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**Derek finally got to meet Liam! But the date isn't over yet... so what will happen in part two? See you next week :) Don't forget to review!**


	13. Dinner with Derek

Chapter 13 Dinner with Derek

I walk into the kitchen and I can see Derek chopping the ingredients for the salad. I see he already put the lasagne in the oven and put the timer on. "You look good in my kitchen." I say walking over to him. "Do I?" He says while putting down the knife and turning to me. I put the monitor on the counter. "You look very sexy." I say while wrapping my arm around him my hands slide down his back into his back pockets. Pulling him close. He picks me up and puts me on the counter so I don't have to stand on my tippy toes. And whispers into my ear: "You look sexy too even when a shy baby is grabbing your boob right in front of me." I giggle, "So you noticed that." "Of course I did you have a plunging neckline." He says and he kisses me. My hands go to the nape of his neck into his curls. And my legs wraps around his waste. To pull him closer. His hands go under my leg. As I come up for air I ask: "Derek what are we doing?" He looks at me and says: " we are kissing silly. More kissing I say." He rubs my nose with his and kisses me again. I pull away. "No not like that. What are we to each other." He looks into my eyes and says smiling: "To me you are just the very sexy girl I tried to pick up from the bar and wanted to get lucky with but I still haven't had any luck, you know I have condom in my wallet." I slap his chest. "Derek you are not funny I am being serious. We have been going out for awhile now having sleep over's but we never agreed on anything." "Oh Mer." He gives me a peck on my lips. "I thought it was pretty obvious but apparently I am being brainless."

He took a big breath. "Meredith Grey, would you like to be my girlfriend?" "Yes, Derek I would love to be your girlfriend." I giggle and than he pulls me in for a kiss again. He stops when my stomach was making a loud noise. "Time to feed my girlfriend, enough with the kissing for now." He says and takes a step aside and picks up the knife. I jump off the counter and start to set the table. I even put a candle light on. When the oven beeps I pull the lasagne out of the oven and Derek is finished with the salad. He pours some more wine and we sit down for dinner. I put some lasagne on our plates. He serves out the salad. He takes a bite and I watch him. "This is really good, where did you learn how to cook this?" he says when he swallowed. " I took a cooking class when I was pregnant with Liam. Because a pregnant woman can not survive on fast food and soup for 9 months." I giggle. "You took a cooking class? Didn't you mom teach you how to cook?" he asks. "You think Ellis Grey had time to teach me how to cook? After she decided I was to old for nannies I tried to cook one time almost burning the house down. Afterwards she forbid my to cook anything, so I had to survive on pizza, takeout and sandwiches on the days she wasn't home for dinner. I think she was home for dinner every fortnight" He just stares at me. "So when I came to New York I signed up for a basic cooking class and I really enjoyed it so I took some more advanced one in Italian and French cooking." I say and take a few bites. "So did your mom teach you how to cook before you left for college?" I ask. "Yes." Derek snorts. "After graduation she mad me make on particular dinner till I got it right. Just to make sure I wouldn't starve. I think it took my a week to get it right." He chuckles. "Was it a hard dish?" I ask. Derek glares at me. "No it was a simple chicken with vegetables and rice dish. I think my sisters were really happy when I left for college" I laugh out loud at his story. "Is this why you always take me out for dinner?" I ask. "No." he grumbles. "I still try to wine and dine you into having my way with you." I giggle.

After diner we do the dishes with lots of bumping into each other and stolen glances. When we are done I grab the monitor of the counter and sit down on the couch. Derek sits next to me and than he asks: "So I never wanted to ask but does Liam see his dad?" "No he doesn't, why?" I answer flatly. Derek looks at me taken back. "I just wanted to know if I have competition because he will always be Liam dad." "Are you jealous?" I ask surprised. "No, no I don't get jealous just wondering."

I sigh, "Liam doesn't see his dad, not because he doesn't want to see him. He just can't anymore. And I wish he would be able to see him." I say this with tears in my eyes. Derek looks at me. "Oh Mer, what happened?" he wraps his arms around me, pulls me close. For a moment I say nothing just breathing him in and I say: "wait here." I stand up and walk over to the corner of the room and grab the picture of Finn and me on the porch of his parent's house. I walk back to the couch and give the picture to Derek. He just looks at it. "This is Finn, he was my boyfriend in my senior year of high school. He changed me from an angry pink haired teenager to a sweet and lovable girl. Life was good. He was my first real boyfriend. One time the condom broke and I got pregnant." I look at Derek. He doesn't say anything. I go on: "He never wanted to quit, he wanted to be there for me and raise the baby with me. We had it all planned out. Right before the end of summer we went to New York to hunt for apartments for a week. We found this apartment. He already had Liam's room planned out in his head. We went back to Boston when we got into a car accident. Finn died in the ER, I had a few scratches and a concussion." I say while a tear is rolling down my cheek. Derek wipes my tear away. We sit in silence for a while.

"Mer, I just don't know what to say, I am so sorry you had to go trough that. I expected a story like I just had stupid sex in high school got pregnant and the boy didn't want anything to do with it and just left you. That would make him an ass for doing that to you but not like this. You and Finn didn't deserve this and you are so strong for doing this on your own." Derek says while kissing my forehead. "I am not alone anymore." I say looking right in to his eyes. "You are right." He says and gives me a long slow kiss. Derek looks at the photo again. "Liam looks like his dad." He says. "I know, in the beginning it was really hard looking at him, because every time I looked at him I saw Finn. But then I realised I would always have a piece of Finn with me trough Liam." I let my fingers glide across Finn's cheek. Smiling at the memory that was captured in this picture. Derek just looks at me and kisses the side of my head, letting me have my moment. I stand up after a while placing the picture back in his place. I walk back to the couch picking up my glass and kicking back the glass. "I needed that." I sigh at the feeling of the alcohol going down my throat.

"Do you want to watch a movie or do you want to go home because I can understand if you want to go" I start to ramble but Derek cuts me off with a searing kiss. "I am not going anywhere." He says with a firm voice look right into my eyes. "So a movie sounds perfect." I walk over to my dvd collection not sure what kind of movie I wanted to watch, I settle on romantic comedy. As I sit down next to Derek the movie title comes on the screen I hear Derek grown. "Seriously Mer I thought we saw all off his movies." He says when Patrick Dempsey comes into the screen on his land mower. "Oh Derek secretly you love him." Scooting over to him so I am almost on his lap. He wraps his arm around me and starts to run his fingers up and down my arm. I lay my head on his shoulder. As the movie progresses I let my mind wonder to Derek. My eyes focus on his button up shirt and before I can register what is happening me fingers move to the button on top and open it, I open up two more buttons. I can see he is not wearing a t-shirt underneath it. I can see his chest hair. I touch his chest letting my finger go trough his chest hair. I open up a few more and I can see his nipple come into view. I trail my finger around it. I hear Derek sucks in a breath. I look up at him. He looks at me with a soft smile but I can see desire in his eyes. He doesn't move, letting me do this at my own pace. I move to sit on his lap facing him. He still doesn't do anything. I cup his cheek and bring my lips down on his. Running my tongue along his lips he gives me entry. I explore his mouth. As my hands go in to his hair his starting to kiss me back. One of his hands goes into my hair and the other up and down my back. Nothing out of the ordinary. My fingers move further down his buttons. I manage to get them open without breaking the kiss. I pull his shirt out of his pants. He removes it. I break the kiss to kiss his neck I nip and suck. Derek is letting out a moan. As I make my way down his neck. "Meredith are you sure?" He asks. "Yes" I say letting go of his neck and sucking on his earlobe. "God" He says. He moves his hand under my t-shirt with the other hand he grabs the back of my head guiding his lips back on mine. He kisses me hard. I loose myself in his kiss. He lifts me up and lays me on the couch and is hovering over me. He is mimicking my actions by kissing down my neck. His hands slide up and down my middle, every time stopping at my breasts. He kisses between my breasts and than moves back to my lips. He slides his hands one more time up and down but this time he doesn't stop at my breasts. He is searching for my nipple trough my shirt. I let out a moan when he finds it. I can feel Derek smile against me. "You like that" He asks in a husk voice. "Yes." Is all I can say. He pulls away and I whine when I don't feel his warmth anymore. "Come on, let's not do this here." He takes my hand and he walks to the direction that he thinks is my bedroom. I grab the baby monitor. Derek stops when he doesn't know where to go. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him walking backwards reaching for the door behind me. I open the door walking into the room I place the baby monitor on the dresser by the door.

Derek reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. Breaking the kiss. He looks at me. "God you are beautiful." He says. He reaches for my pants. All I wanted to do was kiss him. Pulling his face down and holding it in place I kiss him. Derek fumbles with my pants but managed to push them down leaving me in my bra and slip. He reaches behind my back and unclips my bra. After he loses the bra he pushes me onto the bed. He is just standing at the edge looking over me. I can see a big bulge in his pants. He reaches for his belt buckle and opens it. He opens the button and the zipper and his pants slide down to de floor. He is left in he boxers. He looks huge. I swallow hard. Derek sees me swallow. He slowly hovers over me, kissing me. "We will go slow, your pace, remember." He says looking into my eyes. I nod and he is waiting for me to make a move. I just look, thinking of what to do next. I am biting my lip. I just run my hands trough his hair. He strokes my cheek. "It's oke if you don't want to get trough with it." He says. I shake my head. "No I want it, it has been awhile since you know, something happened down there. And I don't want to disappoint you." I say. "You can never disappoint me. Look at you, your are beautiful." He says and I just put my hand over my face and take a deep breath. "Do you want me to start?" he asks. I nod. "Just say stop and I will stop." I nod again. He moves closer and kisses me softly. Again slipping his tongue into my mouth. He rolls us so we are lying sideways. He strokes my side. His fingers trail to my nipple, when he reach one he rolls it between his fingers so it hardens. I moan into his mouth. Now he is kissing me down my neck, he nips and sucks. When he reaches my breasts his fingers move down to my panties. At the same time he slips his finger inside of my panties he takes one nipple into his mouth. My hands fly into his hair to hold him in place and I moan: "Derek." Encouraged by my actions he rubs his fingers over my clit. I pull his hair, he grunts. He let's my nipple go with a pop and covers my lips with his again. He keeps rubbing my clit. He adjusts his hand and stokes my folds his palm keeping pressure on my clit. He plunges his tongue deep into my mouth and at the same time he enters me wit a finger. I gasp at the feeling my fly eyes open at the feeling. Derek stops the kissing for a moment holds his finger in place. I look at his big blue eyes. "You oke?" He asks. I nod. "Just relax." He says while slowly moving his finger in and out.

"Hhmm….Yes…..God….." I moan. "That's it Mer, let it go!" Derek encourage me. He moves faster and faster. I feel my toes curling and I know that I am close my walls clench down on his finger. "Derek." I moan when my orgasm takes over. I roll onto my back. Out of the corner of my eyes I can see Derek lick his finger. I catch my breath.

"Your turn." I say. I kiss him tasting myself. I push him onto his back. I pull down his boxers. He lifts of his butt to help me. And then his erection is free and it is looking right at me. This was definitely bigger than I had seen before. I put my hand around the base and started to pump. He I reach the top I move my finger over the tip of is cock with the other hand I squeeze his balls. He moans when I do that. When he starts to buck his hips he stops me. "Why did you stop me?" I ask insecure. "I want to come inside of you." He says pulling me in for a kiss. He rolls me onto my back and hovers over me. I am still wet from my orgasm. He reaches between my legs to check anyway. As he stokes my folds I manage to choke out "condom." "Right." He says and reaches for his wallet in his pants and grabs the condom that is stashed inside. He rips it open and rolls it on. He settles between my legs. I am biting my lip. "I will go slow, oke." He says while reaching for my lip to release it. "Oke." I say. He pushes the tip of his cock inside of me. He kisses me. As he kisses me he pushes in a little more. We both pant. "Mer, you are so tight." I keep my eyes on him the whole time. When he is half way in he stops. He is giving me time to adjust to his size. "Are you oke?" he asks while stroking my cheek. I run my hand trough his hair. I twirl my finger in his curls. Bring his head down to mine and kiss him. I raise my hips to meet his. At that sign Derek begins to move. Thrusting in and out. First slowly and then faster and faster. "Derek….Yes…Fuck….God" I scream as he pounds into me. I feel my walls clenching down again. My orgasm is building up. Derek reaches between us to give me more stimulation by rubbing my clit. "Derek…. Please don't stop…. I am coming…. Fuck…." With one big thrust he reaches my cervix and I see stars. My eyes close. Derek keeps pounding that prolongs my orgasm. I clench my walls together. This sends him over the edge. "Meredith…. Fuck…. Baby…." He screams when he empties himself into me. He rolls of me, disposes the condom and lays next to me. "That was….wow…." I say still not finding my words. "Yeah, that was wow." Derek says.

I snuggle into his chest listing to his fast heartbeat. He wraps his arms around me. And kisses the top of my head. I feel safe in his arms. I feel my eyes getting heavy and I fall asleep.

Derek's POV

I woke up to the snoring sound of Meredith. It was a noise I got used to over the last couple of weeks. She was curled up into my side resting her head on my chest. My hand was going up and down her bareback. She looked so peaceful. She was so strong but so insecure. Thinking back to the story she told me last night. I was shocked when I heard it and I felt for her. She broke down in my arms. She kept amazing me. And the sex was great. I was not complaining at all. It was definitely worth the wait. Our relationship was not based on sex. It was definitely a big plus that the sex was good. And Liam such a great little boy, you could see Meredith really loves him and takes good care of him. And now she was my girlfriend.

The snoring stopped, that got my out of my thinking, and I knew that she was waking up. "Morning beautiful."

"hmmm morning" She replies. "What time is it?" she asks not lifting her head from my chest. I look over to the alarm clock on her nightstand it was early. "5:30 am." At that she looks up at me. "Why are you up that early?" "Hospital clock I guess." I say while giving her a soft kiss. "Do you need to go to the hospital?" "No not today, today I am all yours." I say rolling over so I am on top of her. Kissing her deeply. She is fully awake now. I feel her hands tucking at my curls and I let out a small moan. And she stops. "Der you need to go." "Why?" I ask confused. "Liam." Is all she says. "Mer come on." I plead leaning down again to capture her lips. For a moment I think she is giving up but then she mumbles. "Der I am serious, you need to go." I look at her "seriously?" "Seriously." She replies. "Can I at least have a shower and stay for breakfast?" I say looking right into her eyes. She looks unsure. "I can make you the blueberry pancakes you love so much." I go on and I see a flicker in her eyes, she smiles. "Hmmm pancakes, I think we can figure something out." She pulls me back down. And as soon as I am at the point of no return I can hear a cry and it is not one of pleasure from the woman under me. She stops and pushes me of her. She looks for a shirt. "You go try to compose yourself and start the pancakes, I will grab Liam." She says while pulling her shirt over her head. "I rather let you take care of me." I yell to her while she is already in the hallway and she just laughs. I drag myself out off bed into the bathroom for a very cold shower.


	14. George

**AN: Hey guys, I hope you are all safe with all the things around the corona virus. It is not that bad in the Netherlands. I have been working from home for a week and a half now. Streets are pretty empty but we are not on a full lockdown. Well at least I have some time to do some writing now. Keep safe everybody.**

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Chapter 14 George

It was Monday night and I was studying with George and Izzie in her dorm. Liam was fast asleep in his travel cot. We were studying for a big biology test that was coming up next week. There was a big box of pizza in the middle of the table and we are quizzing each other. We had a point system set up. I was winning. Derek had been quizzing me for weeks already. It was great to have a study buddy that already finished pre med. As I take a bite of my pizza I hear Izzie grunt. "How is it that you already know everything?" "Probably because she is Ellis Grey's daughter." George mumbles. "Are you jealous George?" I ask annoyed. "No." He grumbles. I turn to Izzie. "Derek has been quizzing me." I say sipping on my coke. "Figures." George says. "Seriously George, what is your problem?" I ask, I hit the table with my fist. "Yes I maybe am a little jealous at your life." George says I look confused. "George have you looked at my life recently there is nothing to be jealous about." I say. "Your life is perfect, you got good grades, living on your own outside of the dorm. Working a job that you mom found you in the hospital that is linked to the best medical school in New York. And now on top of that you find yourself a man that is by coincidence a surgical resident and just using him to get a head of everybody even more." He says with a sneer. I am angry now. "I don't life the perfect life, it is has been far from perfect. I work my ass of to get the good grades and I am not using Derek to get ahead of anybody. Do you think I enjoy working at the hospital over summer vacation and not use any of the money for myself to do anything fun. I need to earn money to provide for my son alone. Because of a stupid accident that took his father away. My mother did not find me a job at that hospital I applied for it and I got hired because I got the extra credit in my last year of high school. How dare you to imply that I am riding my mother coattails or even Derek's just to make everything better." I yell. As I finish I hear Liam let out a cry. "Now if you can excuse me, I need to check on my perfect life. Because all off the yelling woke him up." I huff and I walk over to the corner of the room. I see that Liam lost his dummy and he is looking at me. I grab it putt it back into his mouth. Running my head over the top of his head. He sucks his dummy and at the visual confirmation that I am there is enough to send him back to sleep and his eyes fall shut again.

"That was really low George." I hear Izzie say. "Maybe I am jealous, I have been trying to get her to go out with me since the start of freshman year, but she always said no. And then she meets Derek, who is 10 years older than she is, on the first night out ever. And she is head of heels for him. Why didn't she want to go out with me? George says. I take one last look at Liam to make sure that he is asleep, he turned on his side hugging his bear close, softly snoring. I walk back into the living room. "George I get that you are jealous, but were you ready to be in a relationship with a pregnant girl and later a new born. Who isn't even yours?" I say. George looks at the ground when I point that out. I go on. "That would have meant no going to parties and getting drunk, or getting to sleep in when you didn't have to go to class. What your life would have looked like is keeping op with a hormonal girlfriend, who was to tired to do anything and when the baby was born that you would need to get to class on a little than 2 hours sleep because the baby was up all night crying, trying not to fall asleep at your desk. I think you and I both know that you were not ready but first of all I wasn't ready." George looks up at me and opens his mouth trying to say something but I don't give him a change, I am on a role and need to get it out of my system. "I lost the father of my child, I had to deal with that while I was pregnant. The first time Liam kicked, he wasn't there or when I found out I was having a boy, he wasn't there. And his birth he wasn't there. At every milestone I get reminded that Finn isn't here anymore. And when I finally find my feet you don't get to be jealous that I chose another man to be happy with, because that was my choice and mine alone. You don't know how long it took me to trust Derek to meeting Liam because I was scared that he would leave and I would be alone again. So you don't get to be jealous or judge me about my choice to fix myself. And George you are one of my best friends I don't want to lose you, I love you like a brother." I finish. "I am sorry, you are right I might not have been ready but you never gave me a change to figure out if I was or not." George says. "George I know that, but this isn't only about me giving you a change, this is about what is the best for Liam because he is my first priority at the moment." I say. "And going out with a guy that is ten years older than you is right for him." George says. I look at him with wide eyes. "George, that is uncalled for." Izzie hisses. "Well definitely is then better choice to have an relationship with someone who isn't ready to have all the responsibility and I would know it would never work out in the future." I spit out. I see that it hurts George when I say that. "Right, I think it is time for me to leave." George says. "You think?" Izzie asks. "Good that safes me from kicking you out because of what you just said to Mer." Izzie says while opening the front door for him. He grabs his stuff and walks out, without saying goodbye. As soon as Izzie shut the door I let my tears go. She gives me a hug. "Do you want me to call Derek?" She asks. "No, this has been a long time coming. I knew that he was in love with me. I just hoped he would not act this way. "You don't think having a relationship with Derek is wrong, right?" I ask Izzie. "Mer, as long as you are happy it is fine with me." Izzie says. "Thank you." I say giving her a smile. "So I have a tub of ben and jerry in the freezer. Let's grab that and watch a movie."

It is Friday evening and I am giving Liam a much needed bath after his poop explosion on the way home from day care. When I opened his bodysuit it was all the way up in his neck. Throwing the bodysuit on the growing pile of laundry that has been building up since Monday the week before. I have been so busy with Liam and keeping up with schoolwork that every thing else has come to a stop. Everything is a mess. I almost don't have any clean clothes to wear. I think this was Liam's last clean bodysuit. I haven't seen Derek since Sunday morning. I spoke with him a couple of times on the phone. But at least I was finished with almost all of the homework that was given. I scrubbed him down and washed his hair. He was playing with his toys at the moment. I was thinking of calling Derek. I got out my phone dialled his number and put it on speaker. After a few rings it went to voicemail. Liam looks up from his toys when Derek's voice echoes through the bathroom. "This is Derek's voicemail, I can not answer the phone right now because I am probably in a kick ass surgery. So leave a message after the peep and I will call you back." I still giggle when I listen to his voicemail. He has a big ego. Sometimes to big for his own good. When I hear the beep I start talking. "Hi Der, this is Mer." Liam makes a noise like he is trying to say hi too. "And Liam. I am just calling to say that I miss you can you give me a call back? I hope you didn't kill your patient." I giggle. "Bye Derek." Liam makes another noise and I end the call. "You miss him too right, it is not just me." I ask Liam, but his attention is back on his toys in the bath. I watch him play for a little while when the water is getting cold I take him out of the babytub and dry him off. I dress him straight into his pyjamas. "Time for dinner buddy." I say and put him on the floor in the kitchen and I open op the fridge. "Great no grown up food." I say while looking for something to eat. "Mommy needs to do some shopping tomorrow." I walk over to the cabinets and pull out one of Liam's food cans. I put that in the microwave while I order myself some pizza with some garlic bread on the side. Placing a bottle of milk in the warmer. I see a pear lying in the fruit basket. "Well this has to go with your dinner today buddy." Picking him up from the floor placing him in the high chair. Feeding him the baby food. When I am almost done the doorbell rings. "Pizza's here." I say and go retrieve my pizza leaving Liam's bowl on his tray. When I come back Liam's bowl is upside down on the floor and he has dirty hands. I groan. Really. At least I can stop him before he smears his food into his hair. I peel the pear for him he looks at me with curious eyes. He never had a pear before, this was the first time. I had to wait till it was softened. I put it in tiny pieces on his tray. He starts to munch. I pull out the pizza and the garlic bread. I pull the crust off a few of the pieces and let it cool off. He seems to like the pear. I give him the garlic bread. He looks at it takes it in his hand. Puts it into his mouth but he spits it out immediately. "Ni Ni Ni." He babbles and pushes the other pieces of garlic bread away. "You don't like garlic bread?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Fine, that means more for mommy." I say with a smile. Liam giggles. He goes back to the pear and I eat my pizza. When I am finished, I grab the bottle from the warmer. I cuddle Liam close while he is sucking on the bottle. I know this might end soon so I am enjoying it as long as I can. A little bit of playtime before bed and a story and before I know it I am kissing him goodnight and he is drifting of to sleep.

I close is door and walk into the kitchen. I look at the disaster. Right I need to clean that up. Putting on some music. I start cleaning up the kitchen. I stand in front of the fridge making a shopping list for tomorrow. Trying to think of what I need, because when I go without one I forget half of the things I need. After that it is Laundry time. I grab my basket from my room and Liam's from the bathroom. I sneak into his room to grab the last few pieces. I start sorting out the colours and temperature. I am sitting in the middle of the living room between a big pile of clothes when I hear my phone ring, from somewhere underneath a pile of dirty washing. I retrieve it looking at the caller ID. I pick up. Put him on speaker so I can keep sorting out the laundry.

"Hi stranger." "Hi beautiful." Derek says. I snort. "You wouldn't call me beautiful if you would see me right now, I haven't showered for 2 days, no make up and I am sitting in the middle of pile of dirty laundry from about a week and a half." I say. "You will be always beautiful to me." Derek says. "Yeah right, you only say that because I gave you sex last weekend." I say. Derek chuckles. "So can we have a repeat of that this weekend?" He asks. I can hear that he has a smile on his face. "Only if you are good mister." I laugh. "But Derek I really missed you this week, and no not because of the sex." I almost whine. "I missed you too, sorry for my crazy schedule this week. I think he have been home 8 hours in total this week." Derek says I can hear he is tired. "Are you home now at least?" I ask. "I wish, I am off tomorrow at 7 am." He says and supressing a yawn. "Der, you need to sleep." I say. "No I wanted to talk to my girlfriend before I get called back to the pit again. Can I come to you after shift to sleep with you." He asks. "Derek I would love that but Der, I have a 9 month old that doesn't sleep past 8 at the latest if we are lucky. You won't get any sleep at my apartment." I say. He huffs. "But I can come over to your apartment when I drop Liam off at his grandparents at 4 and we can have a lazy evening together. Don't worry about you crazy schedule this week, I didn't even have time to go grocery shopping this week because of all the schoolwork and coming up exams." I offer. "Ugh I forgot you didn't have Liam overnight on Saturday, I promised Mark to have a drink because we survived the week from hell." Derek sounds depressed now needing to choose between his friend and me. "Der, we can both have a drink with Mark, I just want to spent time with you, isn't it weird that you live with the guy and I have been sleeping over but I have never seen him?" I say. "You want to meet my friend?" He asks. "Of course I do you met mine, why can't I meet them? Are you ashamed of me, that you sent him away every time I came over?" I ask getting up set. "No no I am not ashamed of you." He exclaims. "Then why haven't I met your friend yet?" I ask. "Because he has been covering my shifts every time you slept over." He says quietly. "Because those were the only days we could go out on a date because you didn't have Liam overnight." "Oh Der. Let's have a drink with him, I really want to thank him for that." I say. "Deal." He says. "Now don't get me wrong, I love talking to you, but you sound exhausted, so you are going to find a on call room and sleep for a while." I say. He chuckles. "Did I tell you that I like it when you are been bossy." "Yes you did once or twice." I role my eyes at him. "Now get your ass moving and find a on call room." I say trying to sound stern. "God Liam is going to be in trouble if you need to use that voice on him." He says and I can hear him get up and walking. I hear a door open and close, than a sound of a really uncomfortable bed. "Now put your head down and close your eyes." I demand. "Yes boss." I can hear him lying his head down and putting his phone next to his head. "Now do you want me to read a story to you." I ask sarcastically. "Yes, but only a very naughty one." He chuckles. "Only in your dream mister, you are in an on call room where anybody can come in at any second. Now go to sleep I will stay on the line till you are." I say giggling. "Oke." He mumbles and I know he is already on his way to dreamland. I lay my phone on a pile of laundry and walk to the washing machine and put the load in. I close the lit slowly not to disturb him and put it on. I change into my pyjama's and slide under the cover. I fall as sleep to the sound of Derek's soft breathing.


	15. Meeting Derek's Friends

Chapter 15 Meeting Derek's Friends

Derek's POV

I am awakened by the sound of my pager about 2,5 hours later. I look at my phone. I hear soft snoring noises coming from it. It makes me smile. I like waking up with that noise even if we are not even in the same room. I quickly end the call before my pager goes off again and wakes her. I read my pager it says, Pitt ETA 4 min, I stretch out and get up and make my way down to the pitt while paging my interns, knowingly those suck ups are probably asleep as well after the week from hell, everybody felt it. I had to send 2 off them home right before I called Mer, because they couldn't function anymore. I was hoping on a good neuro case that would get me trough the rest of my shift and probably longer. When I walk into the pitt I see Williams and Carter leaning against the nurses station still half asleep. "Williams, Carter, wake up, suit up and meet me at the ambulance bay." I order. I see Mark already suit up waiting for me to go together. "Do you know what happened?" I ask him. "Another pile up on the freeway." He says while he shrugs his shoulder. "Again? Why can't people just learn how to drive." I exclaim. "I hope you got your beauty sleep, because this is going to be a long night." Mark jabs. We have a laugh while the first ambulance pulls up. And we go to work.

I sit on a bench in the locker room. I just came out of my last surgery. Unfortunatly my last patient didn't make it. We were almost done with al his abdominal injuries when his stats were going down the drain, when I checked his pupil it was blown. We tried to fix it but he died on the table. I hear the door behind open and than I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Hey man, I haven't seen you since the ambulance bay. Rough night?" Mark asks. "Last patient, died on the table, he was just to far gone." I say. "Are you still on for that drink tonight, or are you going to bail on me to see you mysterious girlfriend. I begin to wonder if she is real." Mark jokes. "No not bailing on you but I am going to bring her along if that's oke." I say. "No problem I can see if Addie want's to come as well, so I am not a third wheel on your wagon." He says. "When are you going to admit you have feelings for Addie." I say with a smile. "Me, feelings for Addie, pff, I like it way to much to be the family man whore." He says cocky. "Right, just keep telling yourself that, let's go home for some much needed sleep." I say and we walk out of the locker room.

Meredith's POV

After a full day of entertaining Liam, grocery shopping, homework and another few loads of laundry after last nights load. One last load in the dryer and the rest all folded and packed away I am packing Liam's overnight bag, I know he has a lot of stuff over there. But I am packing his favourite blanket and stuffed animal. "dobadona." I hear Liam babbling. "Liam time to go see nana and papa" I say but Liam doesn't seem to be interest to go he keeps playing with his toy. I kneel next to him on the floor and start to tickle his back that earns a giggle he roles on his back and I tickle his tummy. "dabida lo." He kicks his legs and giggles. I shower him with kisses al over his face. "Hi baby." He puts his little hand on my face. "mamamama" he babbles. "Good job Liam, yes I am your mommy." I know he is just making a sound and not saying mama. I pick him off the floor and get his jacket on.

I ring the doorbell of Matt and Kathrin's place. Matt's lets me in. "You look pretty having an other date? Matt asks. "Yes meeting Derek and his friend." I say. He unbuckles Liam and picks him up. Liam cuddles into him. "So I heard from Kathrin that Derek met Liam last Saturday. How did that go?" He asks. "Went great, Derek comes from a big family. He was pushing me from the start to meet Liam, but I finally felt ready. I told him about Finn. I wasn't planning to but he asked where his father was. So overall it went great." I say. "Did he meet you mother yet?" he asks. "No thank god, no, that is another hurdle I need to over come. She does know I am dating some one. She doesn't have any details though." I say. "So we will take care of the little guy and you go have some fun with Derek, say bye bye to you mommy Liam. We are going to have some boy time." Matt says. I give Liam a kiss on his forehead. "Bye sweetheart." "Bibi." Liam babbles.

I walk into the bar where Derek asked me to meet him. He was sitting in the corner in front of him a scotch and a shot of tequila. He is just staring into space. When I reach the table I say. "So now I gave you sex you don't find the urge of all the fancy dinners with wine and champagne." That snaps him out if his thoughts. I slide next to him into the booth. "You caught me I was just in it for the sex." He says winking as he pushes my shot of tequila to me. "Well good that we are on the same page than." I kick the shot back. As a put the glass back down I feel his lips on mine. "Hi beautiful." He says when he breaks the kiss. "Hi handsome. I missed you." He just pulls me close and we sit there enjoying each others company. "So you finally are going to give me the date with the steak and the basket of carbs and a beer." I giggle. "Yes I am." He says and walks to the bar to order our food.

"So I know we talked on the phone all week but how was your week?" He asks. "Liam said mamamama today." I say very proud. Derek chuckles. "You know he didn't actually mean that." "I know that just let me have my proud mommy moment." I say while hitting on his chest. "I have been studying for upcoming finals with Izzie and George. I am nailing it by the way thank you for al those study cards, I still can't believe you kept them all those years, you dork." I say while sipping my beer. "I always figured that Amelia would use them when she got to college, but she wanted nothing to do with me when she left for college." He says and tucks my hair behind my ear. "Well I am glad she didn't take them, even tough George just thinks I am using you for knowledge and made a whole deal out of it." I say kissing him softly. He pulls away he looks surprised. "You had a fight with George about me." "Don't look so surprised and don't pretend you haven't noticed the looks George was giving you. He has been in love with me from the first day of college. He was just being jealous, this was going to happen sooner or later." I say. "Oh Mer, he just needs to adjust he will come around. Do you want me to talk to him?" Derek asks. "Nah, if he really is my friend he will come around. But thanks for offering. That's really sweet." "That's what I am here for." Derek says while kissing my forehead.

The waiter comes with our food and another round of drinks. "So what happened that you spent just 8 hours at home this week?" I ask while I put some fries in my mouth. "I was on call on Monday Wednesday and yesterday night. So didn't bother to go home. And all three nights there was a pile up on the freeway. People seriously need to learn how to drive. Lot's of cool trauma surgeries by the way." He takes a sip of his beer. "I stayed late on Tuesday and Thursday night but got home for 4 hours each night before my interns paged me in early." Oh one of the neuro attendings took out a very large spinal tumor that got us in the OR for a while. I got to observe and assist on that. And I rocked it" He says with a smile. "I am sure you did, you probably just hold a retractor." I say with a dead serious face. "Everyone can do that." I add. I look at his hurt face and I can't stop myself from giggling. "Ouch." He fakes a hurt and gives me a kiss on my forehead. I lean into him and breath him in.

"Shep, keep it in your pants will you." I hear a voice while somebody puts down a beer on the table. "Hey Mark, Addie blew you off?" Derek asks. "Nah she called me an hour ago that she just got home from the hospital, she will be here shortly." Mark says. Then Mark turns to me. "So the mysterious girlfriend does exist. I am Mark." He says while he offers his hand. "Meredith." I say while shaking his hand. "Thank you for covering Derek's shifts." I say. "No worries he said you were tide to a schedule." He says and takes a sip of his beer. "Yeah something like that." I say while I shrugger. "So Derek hasn't stopped talking about you." Mark says. "Mark" Derek hisses. I turn to look at him and he is blushing a little bit. "Ah that is kind of cute." I say while kissing him on the cheek. "So Meredith what do you do?" Mark asks. "I am a student at NYU." I say while grabbing Derek's hand. I want to continue but Mark interrupts me. "Way to go Shep you found yourself a senior." "Uhmm… I am not a senior I am a sophomore." I whisper. "You are what? I didn't here you." He asks. "I am a sophomore." I say a little bit louder I can feel Derek squeezing my hand for support. I can see Marks jaw drop. "Well you sure don't look like a sophomore." He says while looking me up and down. "Well sophomore or not she is mine so stop looking at my girlfriend like that." Derek spits out in a jealous tone. This time I am squeezing his hand, but the look that he is giving Mark is turning me on. "Yee Derek hold your horses I am backing off already, you don't need to feel threatened, we are not in the 9th grade anymore, I did get that girl tough." Mark says. Derek wants to respond but I am quick to say something. "Guys stop it. Mark stop looking at me like you want to see me naked that is not going to happen. And Derek don't act like a jealous 15 year old." I put them both in their places. Derek sits back and starts to sulk. "Damm Derek she is a feisty one." Mark jabs. I give Mark a dead stare, while I stop Derek from lunging forward. And he sits back again and sulks. Not really knowing what to do with a sulking Derek I try to ignore him and turn to Mark.

"I am studying pre med wanting to become a surgeon but Derek probably told you already." I say and I see and familiar looking redhead walking to our table, I just can't place where I know her from. She puts her hands on Mark shoulders and says. "Derek why are you looking like some one killed your dog?" "Derek's girlfriend might have put him in his place." Mark answers and gestured to me before Derek can say anything. The redheads attention shifts to me. She looks at me and then she says doubtful. "Meredith? Meredith Grey?" This gets Derek attention but says nothing. "Yes" I answer unsure. "How do you know Derek's girlfriend?" Mark asks. "I am Addison, Addison Montgomery. You don't remember me do you?" She says while extending her hand. I shake it trying to wreck my brain about where I have seen her. And than I know where I know her from she was there to deliver Liam. "Dr. Montgomery, hi yes." I say. Mark and Derek exchanging a look.

"How do you know Addison?" Derek asks me when he finally got his voice and mood back. "Funny story actually, Dr. Montgomery." I start. But she interrupts me. "Call me Addison, I am not your doctor anymore." "Well Addison." I start over. "She was there when Liam was born." I say to Derek. "What a small world." Derek says. Mark is still clueless. "Wait who is Liam?" He asks. "My son." I answer. "You have a son?" Mark asks. "Yes I do, he is 9 months old." I answer. Addison is by now sitting next to Mark. "Mark please could you get me some wine?" she asks him. Mark stands up to get her a drink. "You do have him wrapped around your finger Addie." Derek chuckles. " I know he just needs to admit it." Addison laughed. "So how is he doing?" She turns her attention back to me. "Liam is doing great." I say. "Great to hear. You know I was a bit scarred because it was my rotation on OBGYN as an intern and then the attending was called away right before you began to push." She said. "I think I was more scarred than you I was 19 and I was about to push a baby about my …" I said but Mark came back with Addison's drink before I could finish that sentence and said. "Don't finish that sentence a bit to much information." I giggled and Derek just rolled his eyes at him. "Well I would never forget him he was my first." "Do you have a picture of him?" She asks. "Sure." I give her my phone because Liam is on my home screen. "He doesn't look like you at all does he? She asks. "Nah he doesn't." I answer. Addie knows the story about Finn so she doesn't make any other comments on that part.

"So enough baby talk." Mark chimes in. "Who is coming to the last baseball game of the season against New York press surgical next week?" He asks. "Baseball game?" I ask and look at Derek. "Every department of a few hospital in the city has his own baseball team consisting out of residents and we play games on Sunday's in central park." He explains. "You never asked me to come before." I say a bit hurt. "Because I didn't go to the last one. I spent my day with you." He says flashing his mcdreamy smile. "Yeah and we lost that one because our star pitcher was missing." Mark says. But I don't pay attention to him I am captured by Derek smile and I lean forward softly pushing my lips against his. "Uhm Mark I think we lost them." Addie says. "Yup we have." Mark smirks. "I have never seen him happier even when he was with Rose. He wasn't this happy. Yesterday I found him in an on call room asleep with his phone on his pillow and I could hear somebody snore on the other end off the line" Mark whispers. "I will come to the game. It sounds like fun." I say when I come up for air. Derek in a baseball uniform sounds very appealing. "Great we can watch the boys together." Addie says. We have some more drinks and chat with each other. I am starting to yawn and Derek notice. "I think it is time to get you home." He whispers into my ear and I just nod. We says goodbye to Mark and Addison. I exchange phone numbers with her. I have the feeling this is going to be a great friendship. When we are outside Derek heals a cab and we go to my apartment.

"I had fun tonight." I say while we get into to bed. "They seem like great friends." "Yes they are." Derek says while sliding next to me. "But as much like a spending time with them now I want some alone time with you." He says and rolls on top of me. I giggle and then his lips locks with mine and I get lost in his kiss.


End file.
